Friday, July 29, 2005


The more you stay away from people the more you know about them!!

I choosed to edit this topic to explain what I mean:

1- when you stay away from someone you love, you will know how much you feelings you have to him

2- when you stay away from someone, your mind is free to reform your idea about him, your mind is not biased anymore

3- when you stay away from someone you hate, you may find out you were wrong about him!

3- when you stay away from people you know how much you mean for them

once ago, when i was a child, a much older teacher and a friend told me: if you want to know someone, know him from both a distance and a near view.


The relative freedom

A few days ago, I wrote a short story about a little bird, a bird who lived all his life thinking he is free, flying in circles in his cage not trying to go any further, the first time he tried to go a little over those limits he hit his cage and fell down dead!

Actually, what made me write this story was a statement I told my self while I was talking to myself like usual, I told my self I am like a bird who used fly until he once hit his freedom limit to discover his outer cage and to discover how fool he was!

Do we really have freedom? I don’t mean political freedom or speech freedom, I am talking about freedom as a bigger concept, it is mind freedom that makes you open to accept other ideas, and it is soul freedom that makes you accept other nations and other concepts.

Now do we really have it and does it have limits?

Talking about myself I say yes I have limits, there is still some ideas that I can’t change or open my mind to let them change, they are related to my childhood experiences and up to now I can’t come to a decision whenever a thing come to a tie with those ideas.

I am trying to fly away over all the stones I was tied to but from time to time I hit a cage wall! Many times I could break through those walls but I know that once I will hit a wall I can’t break and I will fall down just like the end of the bird in my story, and die alone!

I called myself free soul thinking that souls have no limits, but my soul still bears a mind and a long history that it can’t get rid of them that simple, it may be even impossible!

Do you think that the bird was lucky in his life not knowing he is a prisoner and it was better for him not to know?

Act against terroism 2

those photos where taken yesterday 28/7/2005 don't worry about the date, I forgot to set it up before taking the photos :(

Yesterday I went to "sakyet abd el men3em el sawy" to the nile hall for two reasons, the first reason because I liked the idea of making people act a simple and symbolic act against terrorism, simple acts like this one may make us reconsider our way in life and start to know that we are finally all humans!!

the second was because I have never went there!! yes I am 22 and I live 5 mins away from the place (with the car of course) but I never visited the place although I pass by it very often.

first I liked the idea when I saw it as a practical event, I wish I had more time to stay there but I had other things to do before time goes late (I had to review a document and sent it to someone before 10 pm), I wish I could stay there especially that one of my favourite things in egypt is the nile!!

I met there a few guys arranging things there and helping people to put their stuff there, I liked that too :)

Wednesday, July 27, 2005

Act against terrorism (Invitation)

بدءاً من ظهر الخميس 28 - 7 - 2005

في حديقة ساقية الصاوي

اتركوا وردة ، أقيدوا شمعة ، خطوا عبارة ، اتلوا آية ، ضعوا صورة ، ارسموا لوحة. شاركونا في التعبير عن مشاعر الحزن على ضحايا التفجيرات الارهابية ، و في اعلان آرائكم في مواجهة الارهاب.

تقوم الفكرة على تنظيم رد فعل شعبي ضد الهجمات في صورة فنية هادئة كما حدث بعد تفجيرات مدريد و لندن.

ركن صغير يضع كل واحد فيه ما يعبر عن تضامنه مع الضحايا: ورقة بأسمائهم، شموع، آيات من القرآن أو من الإنجيل، كلمة رقيقة، وردة أو باقة ورود، لافتة....إلخ
الأمر متروك لإبداع كل واحد

لن يكون هناك تظاهر ، و لا تجمع ، و لا هتافات ، و لا لافتات معادية للنظام. الهدف واضح و هو رفض شعبي هاديء للإرهاب الذي هو عدو الجميع.

سيستمر الأمر بإذن الله أياماً عديدة بعد ذلك ، فإذا لم تستطيعوا الحضور يوم الخميس القادم ، فيمكنكم الذهاب للساقية في أي يوم تال.


Starting from Thursday 28/07 at noon, in the garden of el sakkia (in Zamalek), you can leave anything to express your feelings about what happened in Sharm el-Sheikh and about terrorism.Just put anything you want, a picture, a poem, a candle, flowers...
No protest, no politics and no demonstrations! Just saying no to Terrorism, our common ennemy.
It will be open for sometime after this Thursday, so come anytime you like!

Tuesday, July 26, 2005

Islam & Terrorism

This is the first time I write about a religious topic, most probably the last time too.
That is because from the first day I wrote something in here I wanted to make this place for free souls of any religion, no pre conditions and without limits, but this can be considered a mistake or call it an exception

I saw a show tonight on aljazeera TV about terrorism and Islam, it was discussing if Islam instructions are the reason for all the madness some Muslims do or not, let me tell you what I think in few points:

1. the show is silly, they got us two teenagers, closed minded and made them fight on air.
2. I hate it when you consider yourself right and start to insult the other side beliefs, even if you are sure you are right that is not a reason to insult the other side.
3. I agree totally that Islam instruction has a rule, but the “lack” of it has this rule, as in all our holy quraan we have instructions calling for peace, and few other instructions calling for fight in case of danger, terrorists are mostly of ignorant and limited minds people and they can’t interpret what quraan wants to say, they depend on parts of the book and make it the base for what they do.
4. a big responsibility lies on the Muslim countries, they acted against a good Islamic teaching, now most of us the Muslims know almost nothing about Islam but the few acts we do (praying, fasting) but the core of Islam is missed, here comes the rule of terrorists when they fill this gab with their corrupt ideas and guide generations to destruction
5. some old Islamic researchers made books that call for terrorism, I admit that but they are not angels, we have minds to review what they wrote and how did they conclude that from the holy quraan, mostly they are wrong but our closed minds refuse to review what they did and starts to convert what they said into a sacred rules
6. no religion calls for blood, we believe in all religions and piece is the core of all religions, not understanding or believing that is not the fault of the religion, it is the fault of the narrow minds we have
7. don’t say their blood and our blood, it is all human blood so it is all our blood, we are all humans
8. if we refer to the history trying to prove who is right or who is wrong, we will spend lives trying to prove without a result, acts mostly don’t represent religions, it represents the “type of understanding” of a person for his religion, I consider my religion a religion of peace, abo mos3aab certainly doesn’t agree with me, we have different understanding for the same material

finally, this is my personal ideas, I am sorry for talking in a religious subject on this blog and I will do my best not to do this again, but it is not about defending Islam as much as it is about showing a bug in our (I mean us humans not us Muslims) understanding system for the others

The question is yours!!

A simple question this time:

Is it better to work all your life in one job and master it (may be even the same technical part of the job) or is it better to work in different things and be half experienced in all of them?

Any help?


In the project time, many friends contacted me, they wanted to meet me, I want to apologize for every “one” I couldn’t meet or couldn’t even answer the invitation for that I was too busy and I wasn’t going anywhere but to the flat we were working in on our graduation project, It was a very hard time and I must apologize for you all for my weird act in that time


Saturday, July 23, 2005


So lucky he is, free he is.

Flying in the sky all around, spreading his wings, feeling the air filling the space and following it in circles, up and down.

He used to look in the sad eyes of the others and feel grateful for the gift he has, may be they have other gifts too but who cares as long as he has the freedom to fly away wherever he likes!!

Today he is willing to fly away, much higher than the previous times; he will see the world from the top!

He flew and flew, higher and higher singing and rounding on air waves.

He flew and flew… until suddenly he hit something…

It seemed like a wall… and end!!

He couldn’t believe it, tried again and again to find a hole, to break through the walls around him…

Tired of trying he started to fall down until he finally fell on the bottom of his cage.

A hand came in and pulled the dead body of the small silent bird out of his cage…

Out to freedom

Sad day for egypt

It is really a sad day for all humans and for all egyptians

Sharm el-Sheik

yesterday, while I was coming from a long night with my friends , I arrived about 3.40 am and turned on the tv, like usuall on alarabiya tv channel and you all know the rest!!!

but I want to state some notes in here:

1- Sharm el-Sheik is the most secured place in egypt, how could terrrorists pass thorugh all that to plant 7 bombs inside!!!

2- habib el 3adly, the man half the country wanted him to leave, what could he give in a real threat like that?? I think he gave all the egyptians a real reward for their patience, 83 dead most of them are egyptians and more than 200 wounded, also where are all other security agencies, isn't this a good time to question them about the money they take from us and how did they spend that money to save our lifes?????

3- the first time I hear that tourism represents 30% of our national income, I wonder if such a percentages is acceptable for a country like us, I mean this great dependence on tourism in a big country that they tell us it is improving in industry and agriculture everyday, what is going on here exactly????

4- they captured 2000 after the previous blasts, the government sayd 500,. the first responsible man is still free, how come!!!!

5- I am really worried about freedom of speech and freedom as a whole in egypt as a consequence for such an act.

6-Emergency law has been applied for over 23 years now for the sake of security of Egypt, the question is: did we get what we were promised of for what we sacrificed of our freedom due to this law??

7- the poor security guard of the bank beside my house is still asleep :)

it is another bloody day, when people start to think of humans like numbers in a record not like humans, families ,relatives and friends


Friday, July 22, 2005


First view: "how could people have such evil!!?”

Two cars in a small crash, the two drivers left their cars and went to each other, in a moment and almost without a word, they started a big fight hitting each other like an old enemy, thrown on the street in the dust and turning over each other

Second view: "don't talk about law anymore"

My dad driving on the road to the airport, a police car make a small turn to his side, hit his car!!

My dad stopped on the side of the read expecting the other car to do the same but it ran away, the police car ran away after it made the accident!!!

Third view: "Discipline"

Me crossing the road after I checked the coming way, I hear a very large sound, I turn to find a car coming from the wrong way, the man inside looks at me as if I am doing something strange to cross the road while he wants to move "in the wrong direction”, for a while I stopped thinking what to do with him, then I moved to complete my way.

Friday, July 15, 2005

Graduation project photos (updated)

Hi all,

I took some pics on the day of my graduation project, I made an album for them, try to guess which one is me (easy question I think)

another album was made for the graduation project day of power dept (my friends)

the one with long beard is a student of the first year, I teached C++ for that great man and he is a read friend for me now, he deserve the best, a very kind and full of action boy

the others are my friends, the lab you see in one of the pics is the place I used to teach in through the last 3 years for the first year students, the rest are some photos all around the faculty


the heart of the matter

I got the call today, I didn’t wanna hear
But I knew that it would come
An old, true friend of ours was talkin’ on the phone
She said you’d found someone
And I thought of all the bad luck,
And the struggles we went through
And how I lost me and you lost you
What are these voices outside love’s open door
Make us throw off our contentment
And beg for something more?
I’m learning to live without you now
But I miss you sometimes
The more I know, the less I understand
All the things I thought I knew, I’m learning again
I’ve been tryin’ to get down
To the heart of the matter
But my will gets weak
And my thoughts seem to scatter
But I think it’s about forgiveness
Even if, even if you don’t love me anymore
These times are so uncertain
There’s a yearning undefined
And people filled with rage
We all need a little tenderness
How can love survive in such a graceless age?
The trust and self-assurance that lead to happiness
They’re the very things - we kill I guess
Pride and competition
Cannot fill these empty arms
And the work I put between us
You know it doesn’t keep me warm
I’m learning to live without you now
But I miss you, baby
And the more I know, the less I understand
All the things I thought I’d figured out
I have to learn again
I’ve been trying to get down
To the heart of the matter
But everything changes
And my friends seem to scatter
But I think it’s about forgiveness
Even if, even if you don’t love me anymore
There are people in your life who’ve come and gone
They let you down you know they hurt your pride
You better put it all behind you baby; life goes on
You keep carryin’ that anger; it’ll eat you up inside, baby
I’ve been trying to get down
To the heart of the matter
But my will gets weak
And my thought seem to scatter
But I think it’s about forgiveness
Even if, even if you don’t love me
I’ve been tryin’ to get down
To the heart of the matter
Because the flesh will get weak
And the ashes will scatter
So I’m thinkin’ about forgiveness
Even if, even if you don’t love me
Forgiveness - baby
Even if, you don’t love me anymore

A new life has just begun

Hi everybody, how are you, I miss you all, every single one :(

Yesterday, I delieved my graduation project, I was the responsible of the discussion with the prof and although I had a very tiring 60 hours awake preparing the documentation and what I will be talking about in the presentation (beside working in the project :( ) but I have to say I had a very great day :D

ok, I just wanted to tell you about a few feelings I had, the first was when I started to talk to the prof, we were delivering our project in 8309 room for those who don't know the faculty of engineering, this is a lecture room that can hold about 100 man, it was half full of people.

when I started to talk, I looked around me and I found all faces similar !! I discovered that most of those faces were oneday students in my labs for C++ course in their first year!!

I discovered that most of them made it to the third year and here comes the day they see my graduation project and prepare for their own !! how days go quick, I felt too old :(

the other thing was happiness, when I saw all those faces knowing them to be my students, I loved the fact that I was oneday effective in their life (hope for the better), after the delivery of my project, I met one of them, he is a studnet in the labs I gave this year, we started to talk for long and had lot of fun talking about our memories and life in the faculty, I had some photos with them, I met another two of my current students too, it was so much fun :)

another thing, when I was leaving the faculty, I felt very sad feelings, knowing I will not see those buildings again, knowing how many memories are there for me and my early hear feelings in there, I felt terrible leaving all this.

the last thing is that god saved me from parts of those feelings, I will not go far from the faculty, I got a job in the university with my very dear friend and prof (dr nafie) so I won't be far from here and I think chances to be there again will be possible :D

See you all soon, I hope

Tuesday, July 12, 2005

The light of my heart

24 hours are all that is left for me in my university…

24 hours in a life I hated much for many reasons and loved much for one reason!

What do I see when I look back is a long night with two spots of light, yes, just two far spots of light.

I admit I understood my own self very late and I spent the long black night incapable of seeing those two bright spots of light.

I admit the regret, I admit being a fool and I admit I will miss the light after it fades away…

I admit that the light was much far beyond the hand, beyond walls, high locked gates.

I admit I didn’t give myself a chance to walk to the light, to seek the truth, the freedom.

I admit I am not free yet, I am still tied up with a rock to the places of the old days where things were more pure and more innocent.

I admit I was wrong and couldn’t change but too late.

I admit that the light helped me a lot, opened the road for me, took my hand to safety, and got me out of my internal infinite loop.

I admit many things but one thing I know for sure; I will keep those 2 spots of light always in my deepest place where nothing can disturb them, in the deepest point in my soul.

just another song

A million stars light
This beautiful night
This is not a night to die
Let me sing and dance
Beneath the sky

I have such love to give
To give
I wanna a chance to live

For the one I love

As no one was in love

Asking nothing in return

Free to find my way
Free to have my say
Free to see the day

Like I used to be
Like a wild but free
Full of life in me

Friday, July 08, 2005

Friday, July 01, 2005

Words in love

• When love comes, it never nocks .
• Love can come many times but there is always one unforgotten climax .
• Only the idiot will let go when he finds this climax .
• Most of us are idiots [even if we don’t dare to say] .
• When it is really love, you can easily hurt of get hurt.
• If you really love, the problems in the other part will mean nothing when compared to the value of being together .
• Don’t leave love for life, because love is all what is life about .
• When it comes to love, I become the worst idiot .


Words in life

• I am a free soul in the prison of my mind
• When you see signs, believe
• Signs against your mind should be followed, signs against your soul are just made up by your mind to drag you to a different way, discard them
• When you want something don’t wait for life to give it to you, life is fair enough only for those who seek it
• Sometimes you have 2 ways to go, in each you will be blames, each lead to a different place, they are both right and you have to choose between them
• The next minute always deserve a new start
• Regret is good only if it is the basis for success
• We are humans only when we are kids, when we grow up we are either men, women or beasts



The room around him looked foggy, looked a little strange; he wondered if he is awake or still asleep

He opened his eyes more, things started to look clear. Yes he is certainly awake, it is another day then!!

Few minutes passed slowly without him making any move. He felt a deep empty feeling, no well to move.

Strange idea came to his mind, lying in bed he figured out that he don’t know what day was it!

He closed his eyes trying to remember any near even to conclude what day was it when another strange idea came to him, he doesn’t remember any important event, all the days just look the same!!
At that moment he moved up in bed, laid his back to the wall

He wondered, why all the days just look alike?

He tried hard to restore any important moment sad or happy but with no use!

Every time he tries he found himself with things from childhood, many years ago!

Yesterday, tomorrow, last year, past & future all looks like a single long empty day

He lay back in bed, closed his eyes feeling his head heavy moving in a loop...

Infinite loop…..