Monday, November 28, 2005

I am leaving

Dear friends;

Let me introduce you, the solider Maged AKA freesoul :(

I joined the army, of course I don't want to but that is how things go

few days from now I will know if I will be a soldier or an officer, this will have a great effect on the service time either be 1 year for a soldier or 3 years for an officer!!

Pray for me, 3 years away from civilian life is too long for me, 1 year is already long enough, I don't know how will I do without the people I used to know, without the things I used to do, few weeks from now and I will leave to the army

Your friend all the time,

Free soul.

Saturday, November 26, 2005

Mind the dark spot

It is always there somewhere deep inside…
Somewhere in your heart in the place where light fear to get near, where light can’t breath, where just the screams of light can be heard

You think you keep your monsters there but that is nonsense, they go there by their own choice, they grow there finding the silence and coolness they need. They wait in patience… they are always patient
You think light don’t enter there? Oh yeah, that is what you can see from where you are… it is not that way at all

Light does go there man, it just can’t get out, it is trapped in there, absorbed
Your monsters inside feed on it, they eat all lights in your heart, they eat hope, faith, love… they eat life
Trying to know yourself? Isn’t your heart wide enough that you still need to go there? Do you still think you will find peace if you get to know your monsters… remember they are YOUR MONSTERS!!

Try to keep away from this dark place, don’t be a fool and try to explore it, mind that or you will lose all the light left inside and you may be absorbed there to sink deeply between the monsters of this spot, the dark spot in your heart

Friday, November 18, 2005

The choice 1

In a previous post I gave a question that I admit was so vague and so general, somehow mysterious too, but I couldn’t find a better way to give it without revealing the meaning behind which could blow all what I wanted to do away

The question looked so simple; will you support the devil if he goes for what you believe in? So simple from the outside but it trigger a very big conflict in the inside, will you support the right things with the wrong people?

As a historical fact, many times the fear of being with the “bad side” made us –the Egyptians – act in the wrong direction trying to be distinct from those “bad people”, somehow it started to be in our heritage to do so, we want to deny any relation to bad people believing that they represent nothing but pure evil.

There is no pure evil in life, which is why when we go that way; we will mostly make the mistake of avoiding doing the right in order to stay out of suspicion to be with the evil side

I tried hard to get any direct answers, but mostly failed, I noticed that the blog got many visits after I posted this question but without answers on it, my friends tried to escape giving a direct answer even after explaining more the question (I mean here my direct friends that I meet everyday and know me well) and day by day I got with one conclusion, from the simple watching and talking with people you can know things you can’t know from questions like the one I gave as they will always run away from it yet they can’t escape their acts in life

Now it is time for the story:

Location: Giza, Egypt, somewhere near the pyramids

Time: August 1894

The story:

The slave era was just ending; Egyptian government made a decision to cancel slavery and made a special police dept for this purpose, the punishment was so hard in case you are caught selling or buying slaves

At this time the Egyptian council wanted to end the mission of the new police dept claiming that it costs a lot while the Egyptians are not mature enough and they don’t think to buy or sell slaves

Few months from this talk in the Egyptian council –which had no real authority at that time and apparently not at this current time either- a big case was unrevealed!!!

3 of the council members and a very famous doctor from a very high reputation family where caught for buying six Sudanese women as slaves, they admitted the crime thinking that there position in the community will protect them, we don’t here need to mention that they slavery canceling police was the one responsible for catching them, the director was a British officer

up to now you must be asking, what could possible be connecting that to my question, the connection in the behavior of the Egyptians, the very well educated writers in this subject, we see many writers wrote to protect the criminals, they claimed they did nothing wrong, they even claimed that “buying a slave from a rich man helps him and save his life!!”, they were giving excuses for the crime, they even claimed that they shouldn’t be in jail like common criminals and that they must be treated in a different way, remember that they admitted the crime, yet the newspapers kept on defending them!!!

Why did they do it? I suppose they hate against the British occupation made them support anything to stay away from supporting any act from the occupation! they supported the crime knowing it is a crime

A similar story happened about 1874 from the Egyptian pop kerles the fifth; I may tell you this story later!!

The story repeats its self everyday, see that many of us try to find excuses for what the terrorists do in Iraq just because they hate the American occupation; they support evil and shut their eyes and minds from what happen just to stay with the side they like

Now can you have a moment to ask your self this question; have you ever done the same on any scale?

To be continued

Thursday, November 17, 2005

strange moment

2 days ago I was leaving work -inside the university- it was 1 AM and you should imagine how does it look at that hour

things were so calm, so pure and so innocent, you could hear your breath and see the air moving around you, few dogs voices from somewhere far away that looks like they come from another world

have you ever seen the unviersity without students ??? It is much different and much beautiful!!
yes, may be i am one of the persons that hate crowds and sure i admit that but that is not the poing, in the morning i wonder, if we have all those students in the university, how could we fail in all subjects in life!!! if we even have 1% of them really working, we will be of the best nations!!

Ok, besides, you can imagine the activities those students do all the time, sure there is a big idological gap between the university and the faculty of engineering placed across the street on the other side, the few meters carry in them a huge gap of different ideas and a complete different way of life

just a good idea, try entering the university late at night, sure if they let you pass you will find it an interesting experience :)

Friday, November 11, 2005

I am tagged again

Getting out of my cave to find out that many things has been going around, friends change, travel and leave and simetimes even get sick without me knowing a thing

I am so sorry all for the lonliness time I spent but I really needed to be with myself for a while, I kept posting here but I wasn't reading much

I am tagged again, so here I am, thanks to nour this time

7 things I want to do

1-meet all my friends at the same time
2-apologize to all those who I hurt all the time, but it is too late
3-return a kid, 12 years earlier would be great
4-round across Egypt and meet people, talk to the simple people
5-climb a mountain, I love open air and guess that would be interesting
6-leave everything to study religion for a while, from the conceptual side, I need to know god more and get more close to him, love him
7-start thinking about my future, I can’t see me in the future

7 things I can’t do

1- care for my appearance
2- hate a man
3- keep quiet in a talk about something I care for
4- concentrate on work for more than 10 minutes
5- stay in the same location for 5 seconds (I round all over the place I am in all the time)
6- have a think-less sleep
7- take a decision when it deals with a fight between my heart and my mind (50%-50% relationship)

7 things I say all the time

1- What is up?
2- Whatever
3- Who cares
4- I am bored to death
5- That is life!!
6- And so??
7- “bos ya sidi/bosi ya siti” in English, Look Mr/Miss
8- okkkzzzzzzz

7 people I want to tag them

1- Lemna (where did you disappear?)
2- Zainab
3- Phantom of the blog
4- Most of the others already did, so whoever pass by and care to do, you are welcome

Tuesday, November 08, 2005

Simple question

If the devil stood in the side of something you believe right, what shall you do?

1- support him for the sake of what you believe in
2- stand against him even if you know you will support something bad
3- do nothing and watch the result

HMMM ??? what do you think ?

I will explain later why I asked you this question, I will give you a very nice story from history to clarify what I mean :)

Saturday, November 05, 2005

Few hours from now

Few hours from now, I will be in the test for military service, I suppose I should be tense and sad but actually I have a very high mood :)

Although I never experienced military life, I know i will hate it from the first look, I do hate to be tied up with things, I hate to follow stupid orders and sure I hate to follow anyone, I love to be me, away from all regulations and breaking all the codes, unfortunately, I can't live like that in the army

Will they take me? will they leave me? I just know onething, I didn't make any step to count with the possibility of me joinging the army, I built all my life on top of the theory that i will be free after the tests end, that i will never join the army, do i look stupid ?

lestining to dalida at the moment, many optimistic songs for her may be the reason of the good mood, being well prepared for tomorrow may be the reason while i don't know how to be prepared for such a thing :)

Ok, I will talk to you later when i return with the news

Friday, November 04, 2005

Love song

I will watch you in the darkness
Show you love will see you through
When the bad dreams wake you crying
I'll show you all love can do
All love can do

I will watch by the night
Hold you in my arms
Give you dreams where no one will be
I will watch through the dark
Till the morning comes

For the lights will take you
Through the night to see
All love, showing us all love can be

I will guard you with my bright wings
Stay till your heart learns to see
All love can be

Words in my mind

Intelligence work doesn’t much base on smart or innovative work, it is mostly based on the amount of information you collect, and the analysis power you employ to do as much cross analysis for different pieces of information as possible, the amount is endless and the possibilities for cross calculations are endless, the limit stay the sky and the road is directly proportional to the spent effort

the same apply for all kinds of applications including artistic kinds, the small percentage of innovation in any work is being crushed by the large percentage of focus, basic information, experience (which represents a reduction in spent time and reduction in error rates), cross analysis

Work based on the "one genius man" theory can't compete with the work of the circle of analytical half equipped persons, the same way as a mainframe can't stand against a super interconnected computer

Wednesday, November 02, 2005

A blogger arrested

I heard today that a blogger got arrested and the idea really shoced me and scared me

this blogger is a real question mark and the subject of lots of discussion due to his strange opinion during the last crisis of Alex yet we have a concept here, it is the concept of free speech and whatever he said he must have the freedom to say and even the freedom to make mistakes

if the government thinks he broke the law, then they must use the procedure of the law to deal with him which is not the case here.

I want us all to publish at least an objection on our blogs as a start against that until we think what we can do to solve this problem, we are here defending the freedom of all bloggers to think freely

the man is Abd El Kareem Amer and the subject source is wa7da masreya


minerva flies at dusk- end of alex crisis

they say minerva takes flight only at dusk, they refer by that to the fact that whenever we start to talk and discuss a crisis, this is declaring that this crisis is just about to die and the problem is about to be solved!!

ok, I hope they are right, but that is only if minerva could complete her flight without falling down with a broken wing :)

a lot of healthy talk has been circulating on the net, newspapers and media, of course the government still deny the whole case but who cares as much as the people start to realize it, this is the key for the solution

I am optimistic now, I know the danger is not fully out but i received a mail from a close friend telling me that she got on good terms again with her best friend, she is a muslim and her best friend is christian, my friend is a young person from the generation that came out in the demonistrations, my friend is a very committed muslim and I loved the fact that she understand that we are not enemies but we are partners

i am optimistic because she can fight to prove for the closed minded that blame her for that, to prove for them that they are stupid and blind, I am optimistic because i am not anymore alone in this fight and i am optimistic because what i could read on the blogs and the moves following

but let me put my dark glasses again, plzzzzzzzzz don't forget and plz don't slow down, move on, go after the roots of the problem reaching the seeds of hatred and don't be shy anymore, don't wait for our "beloved" governemt to move, it is no time for that, either we move now, or leave it for another generation that will curse us for letting them down

I am optimistic but with a long look on the future, if we get satisfied like the usual act of arabs with the good starting we got, we will finally fail, persistance is the key

Happy feast for us all, christians and muslims :)