Thursday, September 29, 2005

Another leaf leaving the tree

Another year has passed, it is odd that we feel happy when in birthdays while its meaning is tht you just lost another year of your life!!

I was born in 29/9/1983, in saudia arabia, in gaddah, I was about to die while being born, but they saved me (I don't know why!!!) in the hospital and got out after a few weeks, 2 months later, I returned to my mother land, Egypt

The previous year was a very strange year for me, during this year, my heart returned to beat again, returned to have fights with me, during it also, my mind changed-to the better i think- and it finally could let my soul go out of its cage, at least from time to time

the previous year had my great problem while I see things ending and I have nothing to do to stop it, it had great joy and great pain too

I lost many friends in reality in the previous year, for no good reason actually, and I won many good friends in the other world, here in the blogging, for good reasons this time

it is a whole year, 12 months, 365 days has passed, how did that happen, i don't know, i stell remember me going to school for the first time, holding my bag, the young kid had to change and became the old man that is me!!

Tuesday, September 27, 2005

The question is yours!

If you have a magical stick and you have the choice to choose two problems in the universe that you want to end, what will you chose?

Don’t read the comments before you set your answer not to be affected by others’ comments take a deep breath and give me your answer


Along with a very beautiful image, Lemna published the following words in her blog, I couldn't find a more pure representation for what I want to say but those magnificant words and I couldn't help stealing them :D

The key to inner peace is healing our sense of separation from our source...
The key to world peace is healing our sense of separation from each other...
Peace is the realization of a oneness with that which permeates all and binds all together and gives life to all.A oneness with that which many would call "God"...


this is the nearest pic to the view visible in the sky of cairo around 3.30 am these days :)

if the sky is pure enough, you will be able to see each star in this figure and if you know their groups it will be very easy to see each group, in the figure I spotted a star group that was very clear in the sky (won't be more clear if someone connected the dots in the sky !! )

by the way, The original image was more clear but when uploaded to the blog system it doesn't look as good, you can see more stars clear in the original image got by cyber sky program, or more easy, in the sky :)

Friday, September 23, 2005

Before I lose the moment

before the taste of the moment fades, if you can then go and check the starts from your window :)

This night, the sky is so pure and so clean that you can see an incredible number of stars even in the city lights, I can see it very clear, I can even call each one and each group by its own name, that is really wonderful!

I missed that feeling, but it is coming back now :)

Quick news

this is the news update after I am back of my short vacation :

1- I must send a pure honest aplogy for my previous post, I was talking decisions in a very dark mood and those decisions don't represent me as much as they represent the kind of sadness i have been through and honstly i forgot all about those decisions and i am not willing to take them seriously, forgive me and forget that time, I know I looked both stupid and mysterious, just let it go

2- There is no reason for me not to join the army, a friend of mine has the same case like me is already serving now, so 3 months from now i guess you will start to miss me :(

3- I am starting a new project tomorrow in work, this means more time will be used and less time will be available for the blogs thing

4- I am now officially starting the masters as I passed the "mini" toefl exam, I don't know how can they call it toefl exam although it has no writing or lestining sections!!!

5- I am reading now some stories from the history of egypt, the book writer is salah esa, i will post a few texts that i loved much of the book, just few lines that really moved me, sure after translating them or add them to the arabic blog

6- I am currently considering the use of this blog, should it represent a special line or should it be more like a diary or a homepage ? what do you think ?

I will be back soon, wait for me :)

Thursday, September 15, 2005

No title

This is my last post for a while, I will go disappear for about 10 or 15 days, not because I will be so busy, and not because I will travel because I can always check my blogs from any place on earth.

Actually it is because I feel so confused, I need to arrange things, I may travel somewhere to arrange things.

I may have to kill some memories, some emotions and some part of the past, I will play my card that these memories represent less than 50% of my soul and will kill them, I will know later if this would kill me completely or not

I know I sound strange, but since when did I seem clear? When did any of you know me right? When did I talk to anyone about the past, about the life I had with its pain and joy?

I know I was so closed and so mysterious, I know I was so shy sometimes and not wanting to express myself, all that have good reasons, and I can’t help, that is just me!

For you, forgive me if I hurt you once, forgive me if you expected me to be there but I couldn’t, and above all forgive me for what I have to do.

It’s you who could help, it is you who could end this madness and this mess but it seems it was never in your plans!!

I don’t blame you, it is hard enough without blaming each other, it is hard enough without reminding each other with what we could do but we didn’t, and what we could not do but we did!!

I just want to tell you, I have to go this way, things are stronger and I can’t feel any support, I have to go try to collect the rest of my soul

Wednesday, September 14, 2005

Nasser 67

I do hate that man, from all my heart!!

Yes I do hate him, and honestly, from all my heat I wish he burn in hell for what he did for all of us!!

I never really hated someone in my life, this could be the first time I admit with a loud strong voice that I do hate that man, I do hate him and I believe he is a shame for all of us.

I even hate that silly move "Nasser 56", so I will always call this man "Nasser 67"


Tuesday, September 13, 2005

No Power

I can’t think of a single idea to write, whenever I start to write a romantic story, I find it ends with the death of one of them or even in its best situations, they leave each other

Whenever I start to write few lines on the papers it ends up with a bomb blowing up everything in the story while I don’t know where this bomb came from!!

My mind is like a snake that eats any young idea struggling to get out.

Life is a dream, we are dreaming, why then all my dreams turn to nightmares??

What you see is what you get? Is it the truth then that I live in a real cruel world that has no more space for any idea but hatred and blood?

What you see depends mainly on what you look for:

Is it then an inner desire to torture myself? Is it me that guilty that should be punished by living in those nightmares all the time?

Life is pain, you get used to it:

Why then can’t I get used to that pain?

Life is a list of targets you wish to achieve and watch your self proceeds in it:

Where is my list, why I was forgotten when they gave each one his list then, I feel like that little student that didn’t find his name in the exam results

Life is a list of things you will never have the chance to do:

I can’t think even of this list, when I think of it, another bomb blow it away or blood spoil it

I have no power or well to write more, good luck then!

Quick news update

Here is the last news of today:

I got a new pencil :)

I am reading standards; I think I will spend the rest of my life reading standards
:( I hate that but it is essential this time as mostly I will be part of the design team of this product ;)

Note that if I don't have my pencil I can't think, sometimes I think that my mind is in this black pencil, I use the same brand, same color and same thickness of the pencil for more than 5 years now, I use it in all my life and hate to use a pen in anything, even when I am not doing anything I must be holding it:D

I am now making a complete re-consideration of my life, my ideas, a long stage of my life is over, large part of my heart is left there and I have to find out if I will go on without it, or should I return to stay with it

I will take a vacation starting this Thursday for 10 days, mostly you won't hear a thing from me in that period as I need to spend some time alone with myself to think of some stuff, I think I will go somewhere away from Cairo for a while too.

My mother is traveling before Ramadan starts, this means I will starve in Ramadan :(

The brave Palestinians went burning down everything in the ex-settlements of Israel after years of being forbidden from entering it, knowing that half of them were working with occupation somehow!!

My friends think I got totally mad, I believe they are very wrong.

They think I became mad, but I believe I was born mad ;)

Sunday, September 11, 2005

Agassi & federer

Agassi made it to the finals, this means he will meet federer, the expectations are all off as those two players can't be predicted, we all saw how bad Agassi did yesterday :(
just a note, agassi and federer met 10 times as i got the record from the internet, the result was 3-7 which is in favour for federer :(

Will agassi, the old experienced man do it and end his history with USA open with a final victory? I wonder and I hope :)

Yesterday, he made me mad, he didn't play as he can, he was playing like with 50% of his power, like in power saving mode-lol- and he was about to lose the game!! but he got back in the match and won it after a long game that made me late from joing my friends

The other day, sharapova took her ticket out of the game :( , I must note that sharapova is one of my favorite and her play style is unique and impressing, but the girl from belgium was playing a standard tennis, no risks made and she is very high in her fitness and could beat the young sharapova that looked a little confused and not concentrating well, she lost many of her serves with double faults!!!

Saturday, September 10, 2005

Humans…. Shame on you!!!

Reading the newspaper brings that black sadness to my soul, almost from the first page till the last you will find theft, rope, killing, betraying,… read between the lines and you will understand that political news talks about hatred, sports full of betraying, theft and even the woman paper will talk about violence that the women lives under!!
You will find all kinds off hatred in there, pure black hatred.

Check your mail, in the middle of them you will find mails directed by hatred, different ideas, different countries and moreover different religions fight against each other with the most dirty ways directed by pure hatred and evil plans to plant more hatred in the world as if it is in need for more

Go to any chat room, see what happens there if it has any kind of discussion, open the TV on any discussion program and watch the two parts how they are ready to jump on each other at the first possible chance!!

Go to the streets, watch people and see how they act, beasts are less evil from that, you have to struggle your way to move through them and by the end of your way you will find yourself just like them, another beast!!!

What makes us humans? What makes us unique from other beasts in the world?
Is it the clothes that we hide our nature with, or is it the brilliant minds that enables us to hide that amount of hatred beyond strong words like virtue and justice while all we seek is self wealth ?

Are you happy with being a human after all, or did you wish to be something else?

Humans… shame on you!!! I would better be a beast

Wednesday, September 07, 2005

egyptian elections = complete nonsense

Hi all,

I will report here quickly what happened in my tour between election committees, I will translate it into Arabic later:

First, I went the nearest committee beside my work, I went there with a friend of mine, we both didn't have election ids, but he had the national id, I didn't have any id at all :)

OK, when we entered there, a man met us and told us either we have the election ids or we go to our birth location to vote there, of course I wasn't born in Egypt, so he told me, go to the police office you are registered at, ok then

While leaving we met a journalist from "al masry al youm" , they didn't let her inside the committee but she waited outside to ask people getting out about what happened, we talked to her and then she told us :

"Hundreds came here and voted while they are not from this committee and used just the national id not the election ids!!"

OK, at first I couldn't believe that as that is simply against the law, but I decided to check out, we returned back and this time we talked to another man, he then let my friend vote there, only with his national id and without checking in any lists!!!

Ok, no need to tell you that my friend was born in 82 which means that he doesn't exist in any list on earth!!!

I then moved to the police office, in the entrance, I met an officer, he told me if I am 83 or later to go to an office beside the police stating and get my election id, I went there but he told me that I can't have it until I am 84 or later!!!!

ok, astonished about that as my friend who is 82 has just voted a few minutes ago, I met two friends, they told me that they know a committee that don't require anything but the national id or any id, so I went there, it was very crowded there (note that the previous two committee had almost no one to vote there, it was almost totally empty)

We arrived there, the way was to take the ids and call the names to enter and vote no need to say that no one was permitted to watch the voting from the inside!!

My two friends gave their national ids and already voted, I met there another two friends and they voted too, no need to tell that the four persons doesn't exist in any list and I checked all the lists myself !!!

Ok, I went to another committee as they told me I should find my name in the lists there if it does exist, I went there and a solider told me that those lists are for those who have election ids only!!!! How come and what for, if they have election ids. then they should be permitted to vote anywhere without checking any list!!

Ok, he then agreed to check, after checking the record he told me that my name isn't there, I took the list and checked it myself and my name wasn't there, I then went to another office in the same committee, they had another copy of the names, there I checked the list, but found nothing again

Here I found something strange, the first list had few "maged" names in it, the second one didn't include any, and simply there are two lists!! They complete each other and the stupid solider checked in one only, I know my name isn't there anyway, but what if others have the same problem!!!

Ok, later I just checked the committees again, watched them stopping the voting to take pictures while it is still crowded!! Not caring for the complains of the people there

That is what I saw in a hurry, I will tell you if I remember anything else and tell you if I know any more details,


Monday, September 05, 2005

Collecting souls

Following Lasto adri steps, and as usual too late, here is a list of blogs that really deserve to get a look at

1- Steliano Ponticos: this man is a rocket, he never stops and knows everything about everything, he writes most of the time about art, sometimes takes the responsibility of an old wise grandmother and tell us amazing stories. Watch out for his day dreams!! This man is a real dreamer; his dreams can be turned to real movies I believe!!

2- lasto-adri: this is a pure and simple thoughts by lasto adri, do you know what makes them very special? It is so simple that it invades your heart directly, when she talks about her memories, you could see the pic and watch her moving and jumping as a child, you may find an image of your life in one of her wonderful Arabic stories, I did find myself in one of them!!

3- on my own: again lasto adri, but this time in English, the page has the same taste although covered with the English style, but still the Egyptian girl touch can be seen all over it

4- Froggy, do you need a friend? Here is one, a friend with no preconditions, she talks to you as if you are sitting together, there is no limits there in the forggy’s world, you can check the pictures she takes or read her poems (if you are strong in French!!)

5- Lemna, another kind-hearted friend, so sensitive and so wise, a big philosopher she is!! Listen to her wise quotes and read the songs she picks carefully, it always carry a meaning, a part of her soul!!

6- Ahmed el said: our scientific man, although he likes science but he has another important touch, it is the social criticizing touch when he discuss simple things from the direct feelings of a man involved in them

7- R: you have to be beyond normal to visit his beyond normal place, he has a great blog, everyday has a new thing, it is a pleasure to read it and know how this man thinks, he always have a different point of view, a wise and deep one

8- Sydalany, this man is amazing, read for your self and you will know what am I talking about

9- Nour, young sensitive girl, romantic to the limit but has the tools to extract that romance to papers, this is a real writer starting to show up

10- Mo, take care, he is upset all the time, he knows the secrets of life, the pain and sweet in it, he have this great hopeless love for his country, and love for love as a whole, and overall, he is different

There are much more blogs that really deserve to be visited and I do visit regulary, but I guess this is enough for today :)
You will find the information listed here just a subset of the unique character of those bloggers, it is your turn to discover the rest ;)

Sunday, September 04, 2005

Pure Happiness

When he entered the room we couldn’t do but notice his presence…

The first thing that you can notice is the formal suit he wear but this is just the start, you will then see his face, oh my god, how much happiness I could see in his eyes!!

The man is a friend of us and work with us, the first time I met him was just one week ago in the faculty while applying for the masters, he is a very nice and decent person, we talked for a small while before each went to complete his papers

He is getting married! Didn’t you guess that by now? What else could make him that happy then!

If marriage won’t be for love it won’t give you that kind of happiness ever, and I can’t trade that happiness with the whole world, I can’t accept less than that feeling

I remember a year ago when my very deaaaaaaaaaaar friend Hazem was getting married, we were moving together in the crowd giving things to the guests in “katb el ketab”

I actually felt a strange feelings when people thought it was me the groom not him, as we look like each other (we were wearing a similar suit with a small degree of difference in the color, the same color in the chemise but different ties)

Do you know what made me feel so happy? It is the first time from a long time I see a pure smile on someone’s face!!! And it was like an infection as a strange feeling of happiness invaded my heart and made me smile too.

Saturday, September 03, 2005


check this joke by laser guy

Friday, September 02, 2005

10 rules for rightful resistance

1- never ever target civilians
2- if you can’t provide a justice trial for those you think betrayed their country, don’t target them at all
3- whenever the enemy is in the crowd, don’t attack him, that talk about the civilian price is silly, there is no reason to let the possibility of killing a civilian or a child by a mistake
4- don’t work for revenge, work for the good of the people, make your target something higher than revenge and haterad, like freedom
5- if you catch soliders of the enemy, either you treat them as prisoners of war and take them away with you, or you let them go if you can secure them back with you
6- never take photos for the dead soliders of the enemy after an attack, this is inhuman at all
7- never make your operations in the middle of the cities, you scare people and make terrible disturbance
8- never attack the others who work to free the land by different ways as traitors, it is normal to have different ways to freedom, all uses his own way to the same target
9- never base your resistance on a special race or religion, it is after all a fight for freedom and it is the duty of every one that has the nationality of this country
10- if you break any of the previous rules then you are simply a terrorist, so cheer up, you don’t have to follow the other rules :)


Following the orders of lasto adri, here it is:

10 years ago:
I was a young kid, I was in love with reeding falling deeply between southands of friends that are all in my mind only, I remember I was very bad in arabic too, the most important I had an empty mind and an empty heart

5 years ago:
I was just leaving secondry school and joing the university, those old days I was in my romatic period where everything had a special taste, I had a very full heart and a very empty mind
at that time I didn’t form any special Idea about anything, I was ready to accept any idea and give it up after five minutes, moreover, I was alive, I had that fire you can find in a teenager

1 year ago:
I was in the last year in the faculty, I was in what we call in our group: “the acceptance mood” where you start to accept whatever that happens to you in the faculty and don’t complaign anymore, I was also in a loop of death, all activites were stopped and the only activity I kept on was breathing, without a real intention from me to continue breathing I can guarantee.
I had a full mind but a heavy heart.

I will be flying in the sky, if not tomorrow then it is certianly after tomorrow, I know it will happen to fly back to the place where you really belong, I will make it and you will see
try to visit me there then :)

5 snacks I enjoy:
anyting you guess will be right

5 bands/artists that I know the lyrics to most of their songs:
fairoz, celine dion

5 things I'd do with $100,000,000:
buy some books, a labtop, a suit to walk on the moon, a car and a house on the mooon, a ticket to the moon and never return back

5 locations I'd like to run away to:
my old primary school, the ocean, the sky, a loving arms, a galaxy far away,

5 bad habits I have:
talk too much , forget food time, get up late, forget the last moment before it passes, never call a friend on the phone(although I love them much I swear)

5 things I like doing:
reading, thinking, talking to myself (with loud voice like crazy people do) , hanging out till late hours, playing mulitplayer games like small kids :)

5 TV shows I like:
friends, dr becker , x files, Ally McBeal and the news of course

5 movies I like:
legends of the fall, forest gumb, midsummer night dream, saving private rayan, Dr givago and many others
5 people I'd like to meet:
ahmed gasser, hoda makky, mohammed khatamy, osama ben laden (to report him to the police), YOU

5 biggest joys at the moment:
reading a blog of a special friend, talking to a special person at work, reading history books, enjoying tha fact that I don’t watch local TV (it sucks when you open it and see the presidential elections all over it) speding the night looking to the sky and counting the stars

5 favorite toys:
just my little bear, he is lost long ago as I gave it as a family hiritage to my little niece

I'm tagging:

Lemna (I hope you got out of the sad moments you had)
Ahmed el said