Friday, March 31, 2006


Yesterday my blog aged its first year!!

I can’t imagine that a whole year has quickly passed since I started blogging online.

when I started my first blog, it was much like talking to myself, just the same as my little diary at home where I keep my thoughts, but like a public one

I was coming out of a strange experience, things were different and by time my point of view was changing, being reformed again

My first friends were Froggy, norhan, lemna and juwaireyah, sorted by the time of their visits.

Blogging introduced me to another world I never had an idea about, to different personalities and different cultures that I didn’t know or accept before, yet the most important thing is that it introduced me to my own self.

Throughout this year, I learned a lot about myself , I learned my weak points and my strength, I sometimes hated myself and some other times loved my identity just until I finally understood “ME” partially enough to live in peace

How many friends did I know? I really can’t count, I can’t count how many times we were different but I know we were loving and we mostly understood our differences and appreciated it.

What did I write about? About life, love, silence, Egypt, myself, my country, my friends, my books and about every single thought that I wanted to share with you, I wanted this blog to be like a window to my soul, a wide window that gets you a look to as much contents of my soul as you want.

A whole year passed and now I am out of power, out of power to talk anymore, the time of silence is approaching, really approaching

Friday, March 24, 2006

The prom

Yesterday was the prom day of our faculty, a lot of my co-workers went to attend, it was a special day

Two things I must note here, I wasn’t supposed to attend because I graduated with grade “good” and this prom is for those graduated with grade “very good” or higher

Yet I asked myself, if I was to attend, would I ?

I believe such moments were made to share, happiness can’t live in one heart, it actually lives between hearts.

While I don’t have anyone to share this moment with it would be totally useless to attend, I reviewed my attitude when I didn’t attend the other old prom that was made the last year for all of us regardless of the grade, I found that I was totally right

It is not a happy moment to live your happy moments alone, that is all I can say for sure.

Forgot to love

Since I was born, since my first moments and my heart never stopped to work.

It used to love... Love as much as it can

I loved life, people and the sky

I loved her, I loved again and again.

I loved my work, my friends and my family

I loved freedom, justice … I loved love its self

When I searched for someone I don’t love I discovered it is just me.

I discovered o forgot to love myself… just my self

Tuesday, March 21, 2006

The secret war… on the way to hell

“On the running debate between Muslims and Christians”

Over more than 3 hours I kept reading posts on different blogs, the secret war is running speedier then!!!!

A war beneath the surface, war between who? Between Muslims and Christians!!!

To tell you the truth, after a while, I got sick of what I was reading from both sides!! The claims of both sides can’t be classified under any description other than madness, racist ideas.

Of course there were some reasonable voices like the voice of alef, the old wise Muslim blogger and some others (including Christian bloggers) who I don’t know but that don’t change the truth, there is a war running out there.

Why do people think that their rule is to guide people to truth while they don’t spend much time trying to find it for their own selves?? Why do we claim to know things while what we do know is nothing almost??

I rarely get myself involved in a debate about religion, do you know why?

First, I don’t consider myself responsible for others thoughts and ideas, I don’t claim that I am so pure or better from them to guide them, and finally what am I to interfere with their free well to choose they destiny??

Secondly, what will that debate add??? I believe that a good Christian can help the society improve better than a bad Muslim, and also a good Muslim will help the society better than a bad Christian, both religions are great enough that I believe if we just know how to follow them right we will stop this shaming war against each other and learn how to build together a life and let religion to god!!

Why can’t we simply accept each other and stop the biasing that blinds our eyes from the truth when we rush to “defend our religion” and on the way we do all possible mistakes and sins thinking we are doing a great job, I hear address my speech to Muslims and Christians equally because what I see is more than a shame, it is crazy and unbearable!!

Why don’t we understand that Egypt, the country we are fighting over its cake is very weak and in a very bad position and needs support from all her citizens if we want her to survive!!

Why can’t we listen to this wise voice that told me years before “in 10 years there will be no Egypt!!” and try to prevent this disaster!

Why can’t we spend half this great energy we spend in calling that this girl was kidnapped or this girl was taken back by force to the church on efficient work to help the country, or even on work to really understand and apply the orders of our holy books??

Did I tell you that I was for an interval interested in reading in religions?? Out of my experience with holy books I can tell for sure that the concepts and ethics are the same, the same ethics we never apply in our “holy fight to defend our religion!!”

Why can’t all of us let all this nonsense aside and understand that in this country we are all in a bad situation and the only way out is to work for its best not to work for “our best” because there is no such separable “us”, one nation faces one destiny.

It is hard to believe but some Muslims better see a night club in the nearby and not a church!! Imagine that, a house for evil versus a house for god!!!

On the other side I see Christians in favor if Israel on talking to Muslim brotherhood!!

People of Egypt… are you out of your minds??????????


Wednesday, March 15, 2006

Changing mood

2 days ago, I got some annoying news from work, talks about extra tasks in limited time with a scheduale of the spend-the-night-at-work type!!

yesterday, when i got up I felt like not going, so I stayed in bed for half the day and spent the rest of the day talking with my mom, my brothers all over the world and some friends, i had a large tour online too but all that didn't change my mood from the low mood i had

tomorrow i got tons of things waiting for me, the low mood i have is making me lazy and somehow, not in the best case to work.

lately i noticed that i don't understand either arabic or english talks easily, I started to speak quickly and jump from one topic to another suddenly, my manager had a real problem understanding my design 2 days ago because i was discussing 46 functions at the same time

what is going to me?? I don't know!! :(

Saturday, March 04, 2006

A car accident- Follow up

Do you remember the car accident I had almost a year ago, more precise on the 23rd of last april??

that accident that i was about to die in, and the driver ran away, do you remember that?

Ok, the guy was arrested and now he will have to go to court to defend himself there!!

today, my sis opened the door to find three doors-I mean three huge humans- standing on the door, they claimed that they know me, my father came and after questioning them they told him that one of them is the owner of the car.

the man kept apologizing for what happened, he claimed he wasn't the driver and he just owns the car, he claimed that the driver took the car without any papers and so he will be taken in his place if i send him to prison, he claimed every thing possible to have forgivness!!

I wasn't home, my father first treated him very hard but my father has a kind heart and at last he told him that this is not his decision, it is the decision of the victim -me i guess- and left the whole thing to me!!

No, considering the fact that the car hit me and ran away, considering the fact that in order to run away the driver went more speedy to run over me and escape -thank god he coudln't make it- regarding all that, what do you think i shoul do?