tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-118098322024-03-14T00:26:14.157-07:00Back to life, freeFree your mind from the terrony of the society, free your soul from the terrony of your mind and free your heart from the terrony of both of them!Unknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger213125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11809832.post-3908821869129488962015-05-01T15:40:00.001-07:002015-05-01T15:40:52.409-07:00The art of denial <div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
life can be really hard sometimes, and that shows you what kind of a person you are, you learn more about your self from how you react to hard events.<div>
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Two years ago I lost my mom, how can I describe it? the minute I was informed, and for sure it was all of a sudden and all of a shock to me, I just paniced, I didn't know how to think for a moment, loss was not a word in my dictionary and I never took death seriously until that moment.</div>
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I took the next flying plane back home, in the plane I had that weird feeling, that I am making the biggest mistake of my life, that I should run away somewhere and never reach Cairo. </div>
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The denial trick was shaping, I knew that my mom will be gone only the first time I enter our house and find out she is not there anymore, and as long as I am thousands of miles away, I can keep pretending it never happened, that is a bit cowerd ? yah sure, but comforting still .</div>
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I went to cairo that day, and only there the second trick formed right away, it is the trick of playing responsible, responsiblity and taking care of others can also draw our attention away from our own misery, from the cracks that runs deeply into our souls, and so I did that for two weeks, and to some extent I managed to contain all the sadness that runs in my vains, not to show up almost at all while i am there.</div>
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when I got back to Munich, the third trick started to shape, With no way to deny it anymore, and nobody to take care of, I though of blocking everything by working my ass all day long, worked a little, combined with avoiding being alone, that worked for a while, just until the first time I took a walk alone in the garden behind my work place, and there by the thin river i burst for the first time into tears , and for the first time i knew that i am gonna carry that with me for long</div>
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it took more than a year before the real melt down took place, some of my friends where there and witnessed it, they kind of helped me through it, yet I feel more is just coming.</div>
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I feel a lot of regret, for the moments i missed to be there, for every stupid fight I had with the most important person in my life, and for not telling her how much I need her in everydays small tiny things, deep inside i am still that kid that still needs his mother, needs her to comfort him when he is disappointed, when all others fail him and he always know that she will be always there for him, listen to him, comfort and support him with the only true love.</div>
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it has been almost 2 years now, during which I learned a lot about the Art of Denial, how to omit an event from your life as if it never happened, I avoid mentioning my mom as much as possible, I avoid talking about her death as if not talking about it will make it unhappen,</div>
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I knew more about distance, about responsiblity, about loss and more importantly about death and how this life is too short to waste in small stupid fights, I knew more about my self, about how fragile my soul could be and how weak i could be sometimes.</div>
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I still miss my mam a lot, and that is even with denial still in place, can't dare to imagine how hard it will be when i step out of this circle and face the truth once in full.<br /><div>
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11809832.post-22376141392835388832014-05-08T03:52:00.002-07:002014-05-08T03:52:47.753-07:001 Year Alone<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
A whole year has passed now, a whole year with the feeling of loneliness, disconnected, chattered<br />
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How can a person live this way?<br />
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the end is near, but it is never near enough </div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11809832.post-36590142576404384222013-10-07T13:22:00.003-07:002013-10-07T13:22:52.709-07:00Die Twice <div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
They tell me that I should let go, forget and leave the denial ...<br />
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They face me with eyes full of sympathy and pitty! they speak with full confidence that who is dead is dead, never come back to life and what is left is my own life...<br />
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But they don't understand and they will never do, they will never understand that denial is all the life that is left for me, that even dead for them she is not for me, not inside me.<br />
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They don't and will never understand and see it as I see, that accepting and letting go is betrayal for all what we had, no not just betrayal, it is something different that nobody can understand! she lives inside me and the moment I let go is the moment I let her die again ! kill her twice once with my stupidity and once with my selfishness caring and running for a life that has no room for me anymore !<br />
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I may know that it is denial that I live in, but honestly I don't care for what they believe true anymore, what is true for sure as I know it is that if I let go of this "denial" it will be letting go of life its self.<br />
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Not just for me! for both of us ...</div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11809832.post-32889638336869641252012-11-07T14:40:00.001-08:002012-11-07T14:40:02.615-08:00Heritage <div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
I can't let go of my old heritage ... I carry my past wherever I go, whatever far or different, just doesn't matter.<br />
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I thought that going away would change things, but no, not a thing changed... me is me, my memories live around as if they were just yesterday...<br />
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back in Vienna, listening to the song that day, and the faces started to hunt me, like all my past is back reclaiming me again and again.<br />
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the following day was a concert, and this was even worse... never though I can be moved with classical music that much, all I know is that for the rest of this night I was so calm and so alone, I got totally displaced from the group and the moment, I was like in my own space, with my own memories and my own sadness ...<br />
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letting go seems harder than I ever though, today I remembered this:<br />
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" I don't want to get over her, I want to get her back!"<br />
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from the movie " 500 days of summer" ... although so close to me, but it seemed the dumpiest thing i ever heard/said!<br />
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11809832.post-69673813277196081742012-07-21T14:18:00.002-07:002012-07-21T14:18:44.135-07:00müde zu denken!<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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Ich mochte sie wirklich, und ich fühlte mich wirklich schlecht, dass sie fühlte sich nicht die gleiche<br />
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Ich denke nur, dass ich haben das Schicksal einen Freund von mir für mich erwartet<br />
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leben unglücklich und allein sterben<br />
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Habe ich verzweifeln? Ich weiß wirklich nicht, aber sicher relatiosn nicht wie Arbeit für mich an!<br />
</div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11809832.post-83021120769620965992012-07-18T10:30:00.000-07:002012-07-18T10:30:11.847-07:00Scheisse<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Is it wrong that I am not fighting for this?<br />
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Ok, let me say things mainly to myself...<br />
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First, I have a huge problem of commitment, I already have fears of the future and of my always changing feelings and mind, yet that is not the reason I am not fighting for it, I was never of the kind that lets his fear of the future stops him from doing what he believes in<br />
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The problem is that I think if fear of the future or whatever that may be scaring her is the reason for her to backup, then it is not deep enough or real enough on her side, and so it wouldn't make any sense to even talk about it!<br />
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I can't change the minds of ppl or their hearts, even if I can, I wouldn't choose to do that! although some ppl think that this is a smart guys stuff to hunt a girl and get her, but sorry, I don't see it as a battle or a game, I see it as a life chance, something that must be really wanted by both sides<br />
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I have made my choice a very long time ago about this, thought sometimes I get misunderstood that I don't care enough but I made it clear between me and myself, my partner in life must want this as much as I want it, not a bit less<br />
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<br /></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11809832.post-63345409110237695862012-07-18T09:14:00.000-07:002012-07-18T09:14:52.023-07:00Random Thoughts and messages to nobody<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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I haven't been coming here so often lately, just like so many other things that i haven't been doing lately, and just like how i miss coming here i also miss my old me, so much that when i read back my posts here, i feel it is completely by somebody else, somebody i barely know from a very very long time<br />
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Just recently I have been so much thinking about how ppl try to escape from their future, it just gets them stuck where they are afraid to lose what they have or afraid to get hurt
some ppl think of change as a dangerous thing,<br />
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i understand that it is scary, to leave the known and go for the unknown, to try something with a 50-50 chance of failure, to be afraid of getting hurt, but know what? I think we die from the inside if we don't change!<br />
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if we don't move on and evolve
Nothing stays the same and if you try to keep things as they are, you just end up dead inside, stuck and frozen in time and even that thing you tried to hold on to, will lose its taste after a while<br />
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You can't deceive time, it is either you walk with it or it will grab you by our neck, so better go willingly and enjoy it
I have been never afraid of change, and though i miss this person i was in the past, i also know i can't be back in history, he was there in the right time but back then, that was his time, not now<br />
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Don't be scared of life, don't think much and plan much for the future, for all i know, we will not be the same person 1 year from now, and for all i know, we might not even like the same things we like now, so why should we even bother with the far feature!
Just dropping some random thoughts here
</div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11809832.post-70285542299611663512010-07-03T09:45:00.000-07:002010-07-03T09:46:52.247-07:00To get over somethingTo get over something you need many things, if you miss any of them, then this thing/event will remain inside you for so long, will leave a scar that can't be removed not even by time<br /><br />firstly, you need to understand what happened, if there is something pending, something unresolved, it will keep like a trigger, and endless pain, a reminder that can't be shutdown that keeps your mind busy with questions like, why and how !!?<br /><br />secondly, you need acceptance, to understand that things that ended would have ended whatever you would have done, it was destined to end and you can't reverse the universe time... you must accept that life won't always go the way you want it to go, that ppl may be different than what you thought them to be and that you still have things to learn about life... if you don't have acceptance you live in denial, and living in denial is not living at all.<br /><br />finally you need a decision to continue living, to avoid fear and really move on with your life, to know that failure is just another fact of life, a step before success, a state that should never be endless unless we loose the hope and the well to change it... to know that we will always have more chances and that life would never stop sending us more changes and blessings...<br /><br />I know the rules, I know all of them, yet I still find it extremely hard to apply them on some case I met, the reason is because of the first rule that I still can't apply... some issues stayed unresolved, some questions stayed inside me open and couldn't find a chance to ask them and get back answers from life, i am trying to avoid the questions, trying to convince myself that whatever the answer will be it won't change the fact that it is over, yet it is still so hard to get over this while i have these buggy questions in my mind like burning ashes in my brain!!Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11809832.post-5647905194577668302010-06-05T11:01:00.000-07:002010-06-05T11:02:17.450-07:005th of June5th of June... start of 1967 War... a day to remember, not a day to ignoreUnknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11809832.post-73818719161611721552010-06-01T12:20:00.000-07:002010-06-01T12:23:44.446-07:00AcceptanceSome things in life can't be fought against... some things are there, and just there, there is nothing you can do about them, you only have to accept them and cure your wounds, learn how to live and go on just for a vague hope that things may be different some other time, that god will once give you his mercy and bless you some time in your life...<br /><br />many times i get on the verge of surrendering to life, surrendering to the flow of humans and be just another one in the river, yet something in me keeps me away, something that is getting weaker and weaker everyday but still there<br /><br />something that tells me that may be someday things change, tomorrow, next year or in the next life<br /><br />something that tells me that if i surrender, then i am already deadUnknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11809832.post-43910890651119304322010-05-30T12:11:00.000-07:002010-05-30T12:12:32.362-07:00MoodFeeling more lonely than I ever had in my life... with all the friends and half friends I have, can't find a single person that I would feel comfortable to tell what I have or what I feelUnknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11809832.post-20663010065807927852010-05-26T09:58:00.000-07:002010-05-26T10:03:55.749-07:00Decisions<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://t3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:AlsbQIDJsGYotM:http://images.mylot.com/userImages/images/postphotos/1017192.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 208px; height: 216px;" src="http://t3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:AlsbQIDJsGYotM:http://images.mylot.com/userImages/images/postphotos/1017192.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a><br />Taking one of the most hard decision in my life... the kind of decisions that whenever you take, you never look back, knowing nothing about the future, living just with dreams and fragments of thoughts and emotions... <br /><br />completely like stepping on the clouds... were you don't see your feet nor can feel the ground, but moved with a strange motivation, is it destiny? I don't know but all i know is that I have to do this step, I want to do this step, right now, that way, as crazy as it might look, as unexpected as it might feel, just do it.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11809832.post-4212576552246440472010-03-27T17:32:00.000-07:002010-03-27T17:39:22.265-07:00Just words- sometimes you do have to do the mistake to learn, but doing the same mistake <br />twice has nothing to do with learning, it only has something to do with either stupidity or denial.<br /><br />- in every person you will find something that you love, but you only stick to the persons that don't have any of the things you can't stand<br /><br />- marriage may be the best and holiest human bonds.<br />unfortunately this only applies for true marriage, which doesn't almost exist<br /><br />- if your love partner is not really paying attention to your inner stuff then he most probably only loves his own reflection in your eyes.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11809832.post-83013106022815006202010-01-25T17:09:00.000-08:002010-01-25T17:13:33.173-08:00The cave manOnce upon a time there was a cave man, the man that lived so safe and <br />secure in his cave, away from the wildness outside, but there always was something missing...<br /><br />One day he decided to go out, search for it, fill in the missing parts of his soul, all he wanted was a live and a real love... he didn't search for glory, didn't search for profit or success or career, all he ever wanted was a calm life with passion and emotions around<br /><br />Now the cave man is back to his cave, not just failing to find any, but loosing alot of what he already had, loosing a lot of mind & soul peace, loosing a lot of his innocence<br /><br />In his cave he returned, shutting all the doors and trying to put the parts left of his soul all togetherUnknownnoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11809832.post-13688507078231704022009-09-07T20:03:00.000-07:002009-09-07T20:06:57.314-07:00Sharing<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_ZoAXvjjSZFA/SqXKHuuRZ5I/AAAAAAAAACI/9a0ZShDaUgA/s1600-h/share.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 242px; height: 207px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_ZoAXvjjSZFA/SqXKHuuRZ5I/AAAAAAAAACI/9a0ZShDaUgA/s320/share.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5378927564113930130" /></a><br />Sharing in our lives has a different taste in each phase, and each phase has its unique kind of sharing.<br /><br />0 – 12 years: sharing is with family, you share joy, sadness and events all with family<br />13 – 23 Years: sharing is mostly with friends, sharing with family still exist but this phase is for friends, without them sharing has no meaning and you would feel alone <br /><br />24 – 34 Years: sharing is with your lover, sharing has its unique taste that without it everything seems incomplete, each single joy and each single experience seems missing an important element<br /><br />35 - … : sharing is with family again, this time the family you created<br /><br />sharing types overlap but in each phase, if you couldn't grab the phase type of sharing, and with all the ppl in the world around you and with all the sharing of the world you would still feel lonelyUnknownnoreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11809832.post-56803568893085277542009-07-10T07:56:00.000-07:002009-07-10T07:58:53.419-07:00Harvest Moon<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_ZoAXvjjSZFA/SldXE5R8iNI/AAAAAAAAACA/POrdMooIefI/s1600-h/300px-Harvest_moon.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 300px; height: 154px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_ZoAXvjjSZFA/SldXE5R8iNI/AAAAAAAAACA/POrdMooIefI/s320/300px-Harvest_moon.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5356846023387678930" /></a><br /><br />Have you ever noticed that the moon looks bigger and more colorful than usual??<br /><br />How you ever watched the amazing rise or set for a big reddish moon? Was it really bigger than usual?<br /><br />Bigger moons in the sky are a very usual phenomenon that most of as watched multiple times but rarely questions for the reasons!!<br /><br />Amazingly enough; this phenomenon has no well defined reason!! It was commonly thought that this is an optical illusions where the moon looks bigger than usual when it is low in the sky where trees and buildings can be in the foreground making the mind establish a comparison, that yields to viewing it to be bigger than usual.<br /><br />Yet recent researches show that bigger moons also looks bigger if you view it from a plane in the sky, where nothing in the foreground or the background but clouds!<br /><br />Harvest moons are a special case of bigger moons, it obtained its name from old tradition to use nights with harvest moons to continue working in fields after sun set, the reason for that is that harvest moons rise in sky very shortly after sun-set giving enough light to continue whatever work you were doing, old civilizations used this opportunity and named it harvest moon.<br /><br />But what makes a harvest moon looks reddish? The fact that the moon at this period looks lower in the sky makes its light travels longer distance in our earth atmosphere circles, which distracts larger amounts of its light of different colors, yet red color component always travels straight ahead to your eyes giving it the distinguished red color for harvest moons.<br /><br />One of the amazing facts about harvest moons is that it provide enough light that will enable you to view a book clearly, yet you won't be able to read a single word inside although the book will seem having enough light !! the reason is in the nature of light received its self that the eye can't utilize to distinguish characters !!<br /><br />Living in a crowded city, you may never watch a harvest moon and could fully test those facts, lucky me, I witnessed a harvest moon while living in the desert and could watch the amazing huge reddish moon face enlightening the black space in the desert.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11809832.post-43793758350262256722009-04-25T12:57:00.000-07:002009-04-25T12:59:58.071-07:00Unbreak My HeartDon't leave me in all this pain<br />Don't leave me out in the rain<br />Come back and bring back my smile<br />Come and take these tears away<br />I need your arms to hold me now<br />The nights are so unkind<br />Bring back those nights when I held you beside me<br /><br />Unbreak my heart<br />Say you'll love me again<br />Undo this hurt you caused<br />When you walked out the door<br />And walked outta my life<br />Uncry these tears<br />I cried so many nights<br />Unbreak my heart, my heart<br /><br />Take back that sad word good-bye<br />Bring back the joy to my life<br />Don't leave me here with these tears<br />Come and kiss this pain away<br />I can't forget the day you left<br />Time is so unkind<br />And life is so cruel without you here beside me<br /><br />Ohh, oh<br />Don't leave me in all this pain<br />Don't leave me out in the rain<br />Bring back the nights when I held you beside me<br /><br />Unbreak my<br />Unbreak my heart, oh baby<br />Come back and say you love me<br />Unbreak my heart<br />Sweet darlin'<br />Without you I just can't go on<br />Can't go onUnknownnoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11809832.post-61495161324677780952009-01-02T08:06:00.000-08:002009-01-02T08:13:04.410-08:00Not him!! not him!!!<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_ZoAXvjjSZFA/SV486dOdycI/AAAAAAAAABc/_aCkgYFC1sQ/s1600-h/n626335677_1288507_5979.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 257px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_ZoAXvjjSZFA/SV486dOdycI/AAAAAAAAABc/_aCkgYFC1sQ/s320/n626335677_1288507_5979.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5286729987554920898" /></a><br /><br /> Sherif hamdy... one of my friends in the past, it has been very long not seeing him but suddenly I open my facebook account and find his photo, that one displayed here...<br /><br /> I don't know what to say, I have known sherif for a very long time, he is one of the most peaceful persons you could meet, funny and peaceful and very innocent...<br /><br />I don't think of a single reason for this man to be in jail, I can't think of him dealing with such a situation, I really feel horrible with the idea of this guy, that always sounded and acted like a kid, is now having to deal with ppl in prison!!<br /><br />I am trying to find any info about this strange news, if anyone knows anything about what happened, and what is going on with sherif, plz tell me.<br /><br />God save us from this nonsense...Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11809832.post-28376819238005055822009-01-01T07:11:00.000-08:002009-01-01T07:22:18.346-08:002008 harvest<meta equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html; charset=utf-8"><meta name="ProgId" content="Word.Document"><meta name="Generator" content="Microsoft Word 10"><meta name="Originator" content="Microsoft Word 10"><link rel="File-List" href="file:///C:%5CDOCUME%7E1%5CFreeSoul%5CLOCALS%7E1%5CTemp%5Cmsohtml1%5C01%5Cclip_filelist.xml"><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:worddocument> <w:view>Normal</w:View> <w:zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:compatibility> <w:breakwrappedtables/> <w:snaptogridincell/> <w:wraptextwithpunct/> <w:useasianbreakrules/> </w:Compatibility> <w:browserlevel>MicrosoftInternetExplorer4</w:BrowserLevel> </w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--><style> <!-- /* Style Definitions */ p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal {mso-style-parent:""; margin:0in; margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman";} @page Section1 {size:8.5in 11.0in; margin:1.0in 1.25in 1.0in 1.25in; mso-header-margin:.5in; mso-footer-margin:.5in; mso-paper-source:0;} div.Section1 {page:Section1;} --> </style><!--[if gte mso 10]> <style> /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:10.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman";} </style> <![endif]--> <p class="MsoNormal">Yesterday I had a long break at work, I got out & started to hang out through smart village streets, the weather was sunny and great and I was totally alone there.</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">I remembered then it was the last day in the year, memories started to come and it was like the year harvest is being concluded…</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">I was like: “Man… this year sucks!!!”</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">Through 2008 I had my hardest time in the army, too many problems & so much pressure & I started again to smoke, by the mid of the year I started to collapse under the pressure of the army stuff and my night job… I could barely have time to think or sleep or eat… most of my meals were junk food and on a hurry to get back working.</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">In 2008 I had mixed emotions that I failed to understand & made my biggest mistake ever: I broke the heart of the nearest person to me!</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">Few months before the end of the year, I got laid off from work, I became jobless for the first time in my life, and things seemed unclear…</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">By the end of the year I got very sick, I kept taking medicine for 2 months and up to this moment I am still affected by this problem and still can’t live a normal life although pretending to do.</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">Trying to find another job wasn’t that pleasant, I lost my confidence in many persons when I started to realize they are not that good, they were playing dirty games with me and I was like “the idiot trusting person”, I even though of changing my career completely and was almost about to do it before I found my current job!</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">Very amazing year… huh? Full of wonderful stuff!!</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">Looking on the empty half of the cup? Let’s be honest, the cup was almost completely empty this year!! </p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">But to be honest there was something through out this year that tells me I won’t fall down, In every trouble I had I was saved by something like a miracle, in the right time something happens to save me and get me out of some trouble and I was like: “I must be really lucky”</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">But I understand it wasn’t about luck at all, it is all about god, support from god got me out of horrible troubles in the army and through many other problems, it was like god sending me a message not to despair, to hang in there and keep fighting.</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">I am happy 2008 ended, took with it lots of memories that I will remember and will hate to do that, will always feel sorry and regret for many mistakes, but I must look forward to the new year now, I still have a whole new year to correct my mistakes in I guess </p> Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11809832.post-19153858568720601242008-07-25T11:12:00.000-07:002008-07-25T11:16:01.150-07:00The priceThere is always a price for the truth, the truth seems the most costy thing in life , at least on the short range...<br /><br />Believe me, to be ready to pay the price of the truth today is much better than living a lie and going on with it, your lie will grow with time, and so the cost until you come to the point were you can't pay the price alone, also those whom you love will have to pay the price, the price of your weakness and being a cowered, will you then be able to forgive your self?<br /><br />Some truth hurts on the short range but it is a relief on the long range, some lie brings false happiness on the short range but brings disaster on the long range, it is a trade and you decide , almost all your life you have to decideUnknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11809832.post-21289357199538741502008-07-05T16:15:00.000-07:002008-07-05T16:26:32.067-07:00Trip- El hamraa ecolodge<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_ZoAXvjjSZFA/SHAC0wg8boI/AAAAAAAAAAo/8vjJQ1xjpok/s1600-h/04072008054.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_ZoAXvjjSZFA/SHAC0wg8boI/AAAAAAAAAAo/8vjJQ1xjpok/s320/04072008054.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5219675073521938050" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br />Time: Friday morning.<br />Location: El hamraa ecolodge, wadi el notroon, near omar oasis.<br /><br />Activity: acquiring self peace ...<br /><br />I had a wonderful day, the place was so peaceful , the silence had nothing interrupting it but the sound of the wind, birds and the music tracks and songs that we select to be played in the place.<br /><br />the whole place is tuned to one frequency, the frequency of nature, everything is natural in design and implementation, the huts, the roads, buildings and even the food, even the food tasted differently!!<br /><br />A place you can fall in love with from the first moment... I can't describe it more, it is just amazing.<br /><br />Many thanks for the lovely person that introduced me to this place and shared this day with me there :)Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11809832.post-21595331163373844492008-06-22T06:17:00.000-07:002008-06-22T06:29:50.688-07:00Experience<span style="font-size:130%;">Experience , I always thought that you could handle different experiences, struggle & get through, but ....<br /><br /> Wrong, wrong, wrong !!!<br /><br />the negative experience that you struggle & try as much as possible to get through without being affected, without your soul gets infected is a big illuision.<br /><br />there is no such a thing like negative experience, nor a positive one, there is experience and over...<br /><br />what makes it negative or positive is your act regarding it, you can find in what looks like the most negative experience, i say you can find lots of positive sides!<br /><br />also consider it, as long as you look at the negative sides , fear it , care for it you will always be defending, running from it & this who runs can't see his road well & he will miss each positive side on his fake struggle to make it out, and believe me you can't make it out clean!!<br /><br />you can't for that there is nothing that pass by us without leaving effect, what you have done is just blocking each chance to be affected by the positive sides & finally fall in the negative side ...<br /><br /> Think positive, act positive for that there is nothing real out there other than what we make of it..<br /><br /> Maged<br /></span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11809832.post-73409563956081516012008-04-08T18:18:00.000-07:002008-04-08T18:22:11.222-07:00MiarLet me Welcome here the newest and youngest member in the crazy "El shafie" family !!<br /><br />Little "Miar" has joined the club, still so calm and seems not really understanding what is going on around her, will know soon how qualified-crazy- she is to be part of the family :)Unknownnoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11809832.post-70009021628784768512008-02-11T04:28:00.000-08:002008-02-11T04:46:20.017-08:00Abortion<img style="width: 294px; height: 382px;" src="http://download.sigur-ros.co.uk/art/foetus-big.jpg" /><br /><br /><p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">my friend, who is very liberal & believes so much in individual personal rights believes that abortion should be rightfull</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><br /></p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">she claims the following: if the<span style=""><span style="font-size:100%;"> littl</span></span>e foetus is a complete human and have the full right to live then who gave him the right to be a parasite on another human not accepting his presence inside??</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><br /></p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">I don't see it like this, if you are in a ship and you accept to transport someone in the sea then in the middle of the sea you changed your mind and don't want him in anymore, do you have the right to drop him in the water by the claim that you own the ship & you don't want him inside ? Obviosly not !!</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><br /></p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">it is much the same, for all men & women, if you only want sex then <b><span style="font-size:130%;">for gods sake use protection</span></b><span style=""><span style="font-size:100%;"> & if you don't use it then you have implicitly accepted the possibility of having a new creature , a new independent creature that has the right to live & nobody on earth has the right to </span></span><b><span style="font-size:100%;">abort his life !!</span></b></p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><br /></p>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11809832.post-46131099409082042962008-01-04T05:01:00.000-08:002008-01-04T05:08:30.361-08:00In 2007<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">Lately I was in one of my deepest depressions, I thought with the start of a new year to think about where I am now and where I have been, may be this could change my mood and make me understand how much gifted I am and how much better from many others in similar situations </p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><br /></p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">those were my gift and with lists in 2007, the order is not significant at all, it is just the order of writing them down on papers and have no importance</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><br /></p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: 15pt;font-size:130%;" ><u><b>Wish list:</b></u></span></p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><br /></p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">1- get a job</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">2- finish my masters</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">3- get a car</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">4- get a new laptop</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">5- love</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">6- make new friends</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">7- return to cairo</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">8- travel with friends to some place nice</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">9- leave the army</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">10- get cured from something personal</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><br /></p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><br /></p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0in; text-decoration: none;"><span style="font-size: 15pt;font-size:130%;" ><b>gift list:</b></span></p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><br /></p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">1-got new friends [thanks you guys :) ]</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">2-got a car</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">3- got a new great job that i really love with ppl that i really love and respect</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">4-returned to cairo and spent all the year there</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">5- travelled with friends twice</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">6- feel like totally cured from that thing that was in my heart and my soul</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">7-found mind & soul matches [a rare thing these days]</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><br /></p>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com3