Wednesday, November 07, 2012


I can't let go of my old heritage ... I carry my past wherever I go, whatever far or different, just doesn't matter.

I thought that going away would change things, but no, not a thing changed... me is me, my memories live around as if they were just yesterday...

back in Vienna, listening to the song that day, and the faces started to hunt me, like all my past is back reclaiming me again and again.

the following day was a concert, and this was even worse... never though I can be moved with classical music that much, all I know is that for the rest of this night I was so calm and so alone, I got totally displaced from the group and the moment, I was like in my own space, with my own memories and my own sadness ...

letting go seems harder than I ever though, today I remembered this:

" I don't want to get over her, I want to get her back!"

from the movie " 500 days of summer" ... although so close to me, but it seemed the dumpiest thing i ever heard/said!