Saturday, April 23, 2005

Back to life, wounded!!!

Earlier today, I had a real death experience for the first time in my life!!!

I was hit by a car moving fast on the right side of the street, I was hit severely that the car kept pushing me for about 5 or 6 meters before I fell on front of the wheels, when god made another miracle to save my life and gave me the power and mind to jump to the side of the street away from the wheels at the last moment before the wheels hit my head!!

It is a strong experience to be that close to death, which open your eyes on many things, among them how good the Egyptians are when the man stopped and kept apologizing to me until I got up and left!!

Kidding of course, the man just hit and run!! The fault was all his and he didn’t pay a moment to see if the wounded man is even still alive, he had more than 4 passengers with him in the car, neither of them did anything to make him stop !!

May be I was very near to death, but my wounds finally –after going to the hospital- turned out not to be severe at all, but one wound is really severe, it is the one in my soul when I saw that man running and leaving without a word!

I don’t want to look pessimistic, so I have to admit that another man ran after the car, got me its number, 4 men helped me up, kept with me until I finally declared I was alright and can go.

I was born on 29/9/1983 but today 23/4/2005, a new life has been given to me by god, I think this should have a strong reason and a meaning especially after the decisions I took few weeks ago!!

I will tell you later about the accident experience :-)

Friday, April 22, 2005

Freedom fighter or terrorist?

Today, 7 Iraqis died.

What did I feel? Actually nothing special, it is just a number, isn’t it?

Everyday we hear and read about more and more kills, in Iraq, Afghanistan, and finally in Egypt, what is going on here?

Are those terrorists, or freedom fighters?

What makes terrorists different from freedom fighters?

I have been hearing a lot about the rightful reason for the resistance in Iraq, and that they are seeking their right for freedom from the Americans, but since when was terrorism without good reasonable reasons?

If you read along history you will find that behind all terrorism attacks, there was a case that in many cases was very reasonable!

The point is in the absence of the resistance culture, this culture that guides how you act and against whom.

I believe that resistance should be directed only to military forces, and even those who we are sure they work with occupation, they still have the right to have a good trial before we judge them

In 16/9/1931, a very good and reasonable man was hung by the hands of the occupation, he was a model on how to treat his enemies and how to treat his prisoners, and his name was “Omar El Mokhtar”!!!

Thursday, April 21, 2005

Love & Life

All my life I used to say: love anyone your heart choose but marry the one your mind choose

for the first time in my life I feel confused!!

what should have the decision of your life?

what should have the decision of mine? !!!!

"History could come true" [from a song for Celine Dion]

"Forget the past"

We hear that a lot here in Egypt, everyday we speak about opening a new page in our life and forgetting all about the past without thinking a moment: should we really forget the past?

What if the French studied the lesson well from their previous experience with Germany in the last world war, would they suffer for years under the Nazi control after a war with an old plan that was used in many wars before between them?

What if we learned the lesson from 1956 war, would we then have that massive defeat in 1967?

One of the comic things about Egypt is that up to few years ago, children used to learn in primary schools that the first president for Egypt after the revolution is Jamal Abd El Nasser!!!

Just like that, 2 years of the history of Egypt were erased!!

But why be astonished from that while our history proves that forgetting and changing history lives in our genomes, don’t we know now that the old pharos used to erase the names of the original kings from temples and put their own on it!!

Now let’s think again, should we really forget the past?

I think we should never forget the past, and we should never live in it, take the lesson and leave to the future, that is the way things work and that is the only way if you want to be successful, don’t you think so?

Stay or leave ???

After about 90 days from now, I will finish my study in the university and I am very confused about what I will be doing!!!

Mostly I won't have military service, or max I will serve for one year, the question is: what should I do then?

Should I stay in Egypt? Or join the rest of my family and leave??

I love Egypt, this place is my place and I am so much like a fish that can't leave Cairo, but nothing ties me to Egypt anymore, no more dreams, no more desires!!

I am not another fool that thinks Egypt is hell and any country else to be heaven, I know there will always be right and wrong, but here , I just see the wrong and I can't help it, I can't do anything and sometimes I feel like trapped

What keeps a man in his country?? Sometimes it is family, but most of my family are already scattered between 4 different countries that they couldn't have a meeting all together (I mean my brothers) since more than 5 years!!

My mind will kill me if I try to think about that anymore, should I leave or stay???
Will I be able to find a way to live in here and be happy?
Can anyone help me?
Can you?

Sunday, April 17, 2005

Loyalty!!! the powerfull factor


This word may seem simple; one man would come and tell: my loyalty to my country!

But where is your country?

Is it the land you were born at? I wasn’t born here in Egypt, but I don’t feel anything to the place I was born at.

Is it then the place you lived most of your life in? This should mean that your loyalty change with time, that doesn’t make sense at all!!!

Is it the religion? I believe religions were not meant to separate us, it is just our pride and stupidity that makes us thinks in that way.

Color, religion, country and even political ideas can be issues to talk about loyalty.

It is a basic historical truth that jaws has suffered a lot all over the known history, but what is not widely known is that all this was another loyalty issues

Jaws have always believed in loyalty for their religion first, that made all nations they lived with hated them as they used to act as a country inside another and they never paid attention to the problems of the nations they live with.

So what? What is right?
This is an issue I spent long time thinking of; I couldn’t come to a solution that could convince me 100%

Right now, I think loyalty should be to the people, whatever their color, language, nationality , people are all humans, they all have the same right, my first loyalty is to humans now, I don’t know if I am right, what do you think ?

Thursday, April 14, 2005

The point of something

I have talked to you once before about the way I used to be in the last 4 years, I told you I was more like a dead man from being alive

4 months ago, I stayed home for about 14 successive days, I kept thinking, In many things , my life, my goals & what I have achieved from them , my heart, my opinions in different issues and actually I started to reconsider all of me again.

Man don’t have those kind of truth moments with himself much, and the effect of such moments is not simple, it was a drastic effect, when a man came into this operation, and another man came out of it

I won’t tell you that my behavior changed, but I changed internally, my way of thinking, my opinions, the way I deal with people and even the way I deal with my heart, all that changed in this period of time, for those who know me more, they may have noticed the changes in what I say, and how I say it.

That was the “point of something”, when I changed internally, but didn’t know what to do to apply the new changes to all my life, but it was just the beginning

5 days later, I attended lectures to Dr. Ahmed Abd El Rahmaan, one of the most respectable and beloved Dr's in college, and although his words may seem a little mysterious for others, I felt like he is talking to me, giving me just the key to apply the new changes.

People don’t change like magic, they has to go through the process that starts with the point of something, then to the practical start, then to the point when they see the way they took was right or wrong,