Monday, October 31, 2005

Seeds of hatred

Few events passed by Egypt in this month of October but actually I wasn’t free much to think or see what is going on

Just recently, I started to analyze the facts gathered, I made a quick visit to the pal talk program to check what is going on, checked some famous suspected websites I even made some conversations with many parts representing different samples of the Egyptians, some of them I asked on purpose, some asked me to know my opinion in the current events

What I can see and can’t deny, there is a very wide tension in the relationship between Christians and Muslims in Egypt no matter how much we try to cover it or look civilized

According to my reading in history, the relationship between the two parts wasn’t always a honeymoon, in many cases it had similar tension but I can honestly say this time it is very critical and dangerous, it is wide spread in the Egyptians and that has a reason

The Christians have a deep feeling that we stole their country, that they don’t represent an important part of it anymore while they represent the initial citizens of this country, they are partially right about that but very wrong from a different point of view

Those who are ignored are not Christians only, it is Christians and Muslims, we both don’t represent anything in the control of this country and the reason is somewhere in the government buildings in Cairo

They think that the media is used only for Islamic material, they partially right but what they don’t know also is that the media broadcasts what it wants, it tailors Islam for its needs and didn’t and will never agree on any show that really serve Islamic purposes or make people aware of the nature of this religion and the real deep meanings it carry, they just broadcast shows all the time about how to worship god, but never about how to know god and the ethics related because they know the first thing those ethics will destroy is our fear and our long time acceptance for their terrony

By time, Muslims directed their minds and hearts to alternative sources like cassettes and cheap books sold in the streets or in public transportations, those sources that most of the time carried the seeds of hatred and step by step full generations were raised to cut the Christian side from the nation

The Christian nation is to blame here too, they didn’t try to restore their rights, to tell the Muslims we are not enemies, we are partners, they actually took the way of separation and got satisfied by living away from the hearts of their partners, again generations came believing in complete separation and counting Muslims as their enemies, this is because they found they can’t have some of their rights and they found Muslims don’t care, they so held them accused rather than relating it to the system controlling the country, playing with its future for some dirty political games
The seeds of hatred grew up more and more with the current situation in our area of occupation in Iraq and the stupid hatred-based ideas that spread that this war had a religious basic, a fairy tale that increased the gab between us, especially with the voices of some Christians asking for foreign interfere with their case in Egypt that people directly bounded it with Iraq as it is a call for invasion in Egypt

I can’t deny that some voices there really called even for foreign troops in Egypt to “protect Christians from the massive extermination that the Muslims are doing there!”

Along more than 50 years, the seeds of hatred have been planted and served all the time until it grew up to give us a very ugly plant that we see now

What is the answer??? How can we solve this?

I think we need to make people more connected to Egypt more than anything, loyalty is a very dangerous factor and the silly plays we give in 1973 celepration every year doesn’t help much, we need to introduce Egypt as a concept and one unit to the generations in more strong way

I believe also that religion must be given more care from both sides, especially in the conceptual side; we miss this side much, which can teach us the meanings of peace and love that, is found in both religions

I believe also that the freedom atmosphere needs to change, we don’t have inner freedom before we seek it from the government and we need to work much to introduce people into the space of open free ideas that can contradict in peace, when we learn how to live the freedom as a self experience, we will learn how to accept the fact that we were created different and that is what makes every human unique, to be different is to be alive and we must learn to accept different people

We must learn to be brave too, no more restrictions in any discussion, there are no more taboos in any field, taboos are being destroyed everywhere and new modern answers are being created each day, we must forget our restrictions and start discussing things that we were satisfied by accepting its ready-made answers we received very long time ago made by minds much out of our modern time

In brief, we must learn to be humans from the ground up, remove the dust of old stale ideas and build a brand new theory of life together, a brand new theory on how to think and act in all life sides not just in sides connecting Muslims and Christians.

Can we do that in a country with our state?? I wonder but I don’t lose hope, at least I am trying not to lose hope at the current moment

Note: wish me luck in my military service; I am applying my papers in a week from now

Saturday, October 29, 2005

Source of evil, the reason

I though about my last post and I found a gab in it, so I found that I should complete this gab

Why do I talk about the source of evil and list those things??

When you are really an evil man, you will not know that, you will be mostly moved by a motive that you see innocent and in most cases you will see it like a good motive and think you are doing the right thing, the worst kind of evil is when you think you are doing the right, good intentions lead to bad ends all the time

Those who make crimes with bad intentions kill a man or two or even a few, but this “patriot” or the one who call himself so, can kill thousands and even millions without losing his self respect

When you kill a man and look into his eyes and know your bad intentions, it is a hard experience for anyone with living heart, but with a motive of loyalty, principles, religion and so on, you can kill thousands thinking you are spreading good ideas and saving the world

I though it would be good to discuss some of the faces of evil sources that we use as a curtain to hide behind from our bad deeds, we will try here to know if those motives are of pure evil, partial evil or that they are not the source of evil at all, I will be open to hear your comments as I accepted all the comments in the loyalty discussion long ago

See you in the first section

Sources of evil

In humans, there is no devil and there will be no angel, we all have our mistakes and we all have both the devil and the angel inside, it just depends on which door do you open your heart for

I will be throwing here questions more than answers, trying to know what factors affect the door that we open, what makes us lock the door for the light and open the door and windows for the dark side in us

Of course I can’t at the moment list the factors that makes that possible but I will list the most things that I can see for now, those are:

• Discrimination
• Comparison
• Acceptance
• Chains of terrony
• Principles

I will start a new sequence of posts about those factors, I am currently thinking of making a new separate blog for this kind of posts related to society and human nature not to bather my beloved readers of this blog with the nonsense I keep my mind wandering in

What shall we start with now? We have already handled Loyalty
very long time ago; I think the next one we should start working on should be discrimination, especially in the current time

Meet you in the next post :)

Friday, October 28, 2005

And yet another song

Lay a whisper on my pillow
Leave the winter on the ground
I wake up lonely, there's air of silence
In the bedroom and all around
Touch me now, I close my eyes and dream away
It must have been love, but it's over now
It must have been good, but I lost it somehow
It must have been love, but it's over now
From the moment we touched till the time had run out
Make believing, we're together
That I'm sheltered by your heart
But in and outside I've turned to water
Like a teardrop in your palm
And it's a hard winter's day, I dream away
It must have been love, but it's over now
It was all that I wanted, now I'm living without
It must have been love but it's over now
I'ts where the water flows, its where the wind blows
It must have been love but it's over now
It must have been good, but I lost it somehow
It must have been love, but its over now
From the moment we touched till the time had run out
Yeah it must have been love ..

Sunday, October 23, 2005

Prisons #1

This post is intended to be a starting point of a sequence of posts about prisons we have in our life, prisons that we can’t touch yet has the most effect in our lives, prisons that were able to destroy nations and build others.

Physical prisons can’t really imprison your freedom if you really have it in your deep inside, just those virtual ones can do that job

This time I will talk about one of the worst of those prisons, it is the one responsible of holding our civilization (if we have one) back for centuries, it is the prison of acceptance

The prison of acceptance is a prison we put on our minds when we decide to take ready-made ideas from elsewhere, here we imprison the mind and prevent him from trying to justify the validity of those ideas

How many of us stop to ask the magical question: “why?” and how many of us then receive one of those silly answers such as: “orders of god, the right thing to do, for your own good” and stuff of that kind then how many of us will move to justify the reason of the answer till he is finally convinced??

Is it right to justify everything and keep your mind working all the time? I wonder but all I can say is that my mind is free and working to the burning limit!

The Egyptian writer, Salah Esa, says that what I just called the acceptance prison was forced on the nations by invaders and governments to keep them under control all the time by the name of god, he sue was talking about Egypt but at once I remembered Europe in the middle ages and the control of the church on all branches of life and science.

Don’t you think it is the time to move this old machine -called the brain- a little and get it back to life… free?

Friday, October 21, 2005


Take this new quote by me:

"poeple are the things you have to push back; in order to move on"


My sister accidently dropped Pepsi on my PC, all over the desk, keyboard and my little mouse:(

ok, the mouse made it but the keyboard couldn't be saved :( so from now and till i have the time to buy a new one, i will be using my old keyboard, which i am totally not used to, so i will not write anything new, all my posts will be from the saved un-posted ones, this may be good chance to check that huge number of un-posted stuff


1973: Lessons #1: Media

we had a war, we lost in this war according to the most optimistic reports about 8000 soldiers, souls and families, the least thing to do for them is to learn from what happened

The lesson today is about media, whenever we start to hide the truth from the people, we must be prepared for the defeat

The media before and during and even after 1967 has committed the biggest lie in the history of Egypt

first of all, the covered the conditions that Egypt had to accept for Israel to leave Sinai after the war of 1956, this was the first step of the lie, to make it acceptable they made all Sinai a military closed area so that no one could go there and know the truth

they kept us living in the lie for years and years, feeding us with southands of nonsense we read everyday about the weak army of Israel and our huge abilities, they gave us two rockets without guiding chips claiming they can hit Israel, the two rockets where a complete failure, they sent our troops to Yemen and told us they were fighting for freedom, but actually they were fighting for the illusion of the glory Nasser seek, they told us they fight for honor but they were killing children and burning houses there (yes it is true, believe it, that is what we did in Yemen!! )

During 1967, the lie continued, then suddenly, all broke down and the truth appeared as ugly as it is!!

The question is, did we learn from that? When you read our newspapers those days, can you believe what it tells?

Click on the picture above to see how bad the lie can be!!

I hope we understand that the road to the future starts from the past; we need to know the past, reveal the details of what happened in our wars and then learn from them

Good Bye

Forgetting is not all the time easy,. But sometimes it is a must, you don’t forget really, all you do is to forget to think, put your heart into a state of emptiness and try to keep it idle not to restore the memories back, sometimes you succeed, sometimes you fail, but sure if you insist on it, you will reach it no matter how long it takes

Life seems strange these days, I am so confused, I can’t verify the laws I lived by, I sometimes feel that there is a huge gab in the ethics I lived by, something not right in my life, and some other times I feel it is all a matter of a chance and the ethics and regulations I lived by has nothing to do with it, I feel that I didn’t do something wrong and all the problem was in the timing may be or the destiny but not in the basis its self

I love to talk to others but sometimes it is hard to say what you really want to say, sometimes you feel the words stuck, do you know, the worst time of being depressed is when you don’t want to talk about the reasons anymore, moreover, when you can’t figure out the reasons your self

I know the reason for me to be depressed and I am sure of it, I know how to overcome it but I know that is much beyond my abilities in the current time, but I have no impossible

Few years ago, I had a bad time too, I got affected so much and I remember I had a very bad results this year as I couldn’t concentrate in a single word, my parents didn’t know a thing about it, anyway I am not of the kind that speaks about his heart to anyone, I keep that stuff to myself all the time and here lies the problem

I moved on later, I could beat that not knowing what is waiting for me later, not knowing that a much deeper pain is waiting somewhere on my way, the question is now, where is the answer ?

Will the answer be somewhere away from here? I will try to travel for a while, may be that would change something in me, and I will have a 3 months period to decide if I will stay in Egypt of leave, I don’t know what to tell you, I know I promised all of you that I will stay in Egypt no matter what happens to me but sometimes it is so hard to keep a promise, I want to stay but if staying will be in both the place and the case, then I will have to drop them both and leave to a much further place, just about 6000 kilometers away where I can have a clean start, or at least that is what I will assume there

Am I trying to get myself some excuse to leave? I don’t know but leaving was never part of my plans if I ever had any, but I can’t bear that anymore , I need to act before I go insane

I wrote a good bye word to both of them, knowing for sure that it will reach both of them, the one that I all the time loved and would be so hard to leave, which is Egypt and the only human that could make me leave it

Sunday, October 09, 2005

Nice song

the words touched me alot from the first time I listened to them, it is by Bryan Adams, I chosed this part because it is the strongest in the song:

Look into my eyes - you will see
What you mean to me
Search your heart - search your soul
And when you find me there you'll search no more

Don't tell me it's not worth tryin' for
You can't tell me it's not worth dyin' for
You know it's true
Everything I do - I do it for you

Look into your heart - you will find
There's nothin' there to hide
Take me as I am - take my life
I would give it all - I would sacrifice

Thursday, October 06, 2005

Seeking my soul

I am still lost, searching for my soul, reaching out for help!!

I wonder sometimes; did I ever had a soul and then lost it, or is it just I have never had a soul!!

Trying to remember, trying to understand, what is the use of the mind with a tortured soul & heart???

Did I change to the better or to the worse? Was it good for me to realize things, or should I stayed as I was unaware of things!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My head is gonna blow up, I am trying to shut it down now with no use

My god was that month the month of madness or the month of rise!! Was it a holy light that came to my soul or a devilish light!!

I am going back to my cave now, BYE

Tuesday, October 04, 2005

Don't hide

hiding is not a solution especially if the other side knows how, when and where to find you, moreover

1973: Military facts

here are some military facts many of us don’t know or seem to ignore, let’s see it,

the rule of the Russians in the victory was great, we must remember that the plan of the war was totally following the Russian military school
the man who wrote the complete plan of October war, Mohammed Abd El Ghani el Gamasi, has the best reputation in Israel, how many of the Egyptians know him ?
the most effective rule in the war was for the artillery and regular soldiers, they paid a high price for the war
we can’t forget the engineers who worked on building the bridges under attack and lost their lives, we mustn’t forget also the huge number of workers and engineers who lost their lives while building the Air-defense barrier
We cheated the Syrians in the war, they demanded too much from us more than the abilities of our army, so at the beginning we didn’t apply what was agreed between us (to move to “al madayek” area)
the second phase of the plan was a complete disaster
Ariel Sharon is a very good military leader, review his way in leading his troops to land behind our lines and you will know why I do respect his mind
we won the war in the first 3 or 4 days, we lost it afterwards, what I believe that we won forever is the respect of the world as a nation that can fight for its freedom
the air forces has the smallest effect on the war, it seemed like Hosny mubarak wanted to save the plans and didn’t use them after the first strike(unless in a very rare conditions)
I love Sadat, he is a man that cares for his country and put a very high price for each soldier, that means a lot to me.
I missed the funeral of El Gamasi, I knew of it late after it was already moving and there was no way to catch it, I feel terrible for that since his funeral

Sunday, October 02, 2005


Sometimes when I speak with one of my friends, I find my mouth throwing blocks of wise words!!

The last time I was walking with a friend of mine, he was talking with me about a romantic problem he had, I started to talk saying few statements classifying the different kinds of feelings a man can feel toward a woman and marking each one with the signs the man in the relation can see, my friend got astonished, I am in his eye that young shy guy that had one previous experience in his life and since then stopped to talk or believe in love, he said after I finished: “I see you have a mind here, why you look so stupid with when it is related to you then!!”

Recently, while reading the blog of lemna, my dear wise friend, I started to think, we are 22 years old now, we should be young and idiots but that is not the case, we look wise, old people look wise so, did our souls get old early before time ? Did our time go quickly giving us lessons other didn’t have the chance yet to have?

What other chances did we miss on the way?

What was the cost for wisdom we would never seek?


Today, while I was at work, we suddenly heard large noise coming from the university

You sure know that we work inside the university, to be more precise, we work in the building of “dar 3oloom” just of front of “e3lam” building

Guess what? It was a demonstration!!

I had a quick flash back of my first term in the university, I was very young and still affected by my readings about Jewish history, I was full of strength, I can’t say full of hatred because I think I never really hated them!!

I was walking like them, I wasn’t shouting, I don’t believe large voice can make a change, we walked a little and I wanted to be there, to be with them in this

Today, we all jumped out of our chairs like little kids, me, with another few employees and one of the managers, to watch the demonstration from the window, we were so exited about it!

5 years in the university had many changes on me; first I stopped to believe in demonstrations as a real act, then recently I started to believe it is a small step but in the right way, a small step that has to be in a complete plan to make a change

I remember about 3 years ago, there was a big demonstration, they opened the doors suddenly and I was astonished that they let them go out, they made a road of security guards between our faculty (engineering) and the rest of the university, we were allowed to enter the university with a demonstration, I remember that at that time I was fully convinced that I shouldn’t be part of any of this, but at least I couldn’t help it and I joined them for one purpose… to make it to the bigger demonstration to find out what was going in there

When war against Iraq happened I was so touched, I didn’t tell you but Iraq is one of my favorite countries due to many reasons this is not the place to mention, but I was really heart broken, I had that fire against all Americans (I have many American friends by the way)

Inside the university, and beside another big demonstration, I met an American woman, her son was in the war, she was there to support the forces against war I had a long conversation with her and honestly, just a look to her innocent face did me great help, it somehow implanted in me the seed of peace, to understand that we are all humans and we should start to judge the criminal not all connected to him

I don’t know why I am saying all this nonsense, I just think that this demonstration somehow could wake something in me while looking into rows of young kids that has no idea what they are doing, that has no real beliefs and no real plan and are just moving forward following trust in people I do believe they don’t deserve it