Thursday, February 23, 2006

from the Cave- quick thoughts

From the cave I write, not because I feel like to write but because I feel like about to explode!!

I must tell you first about the most important cave rule which is:

No discussions with others in any topic of the problems under consideration, free your mind from being biased by any ideas or any preasure from any friend

i followed this rule yet i kept reading and sometimes writing few thoughts i have, without of course posting them or discussing them

Today I felt like broken completely, watching TV and realizing the amount of madness we have, the amount of evil we carry inside and imagining if I am making similar acts, a bad black view for unknown future

life is strange, sometimes you will have to stand against one of two, either your ethics or your nation, if you stand against your ethics they will never rest in you, they will follow you, accuse you of being fake and they will be right

but if you stand against your nation you will be accused guilty by their rules, they will consider you the devil himself and put you in the enemy side, you will try to point out the truth for them but they won't listen to you, at the end you will find your self... in the cave

one of my thoughts is about democracy, i don't claim that it is originally from my mind yet I must tell that democracy alone is not enought, people well is not all the time the right and honestly, i can tell that most of the time, the majority stand in the wrong side!!

the factor that correct this relations is the educated persons who guide the majority and convince them with what is right and what is wrong, socrates didn't believe in that, he believed that the majority must be governed by the minority of wise men and the normal majority shouldn't have any rule

yet this is a very theoritical solution, because all the times you will find those who pretend to be wise and guide the people to the wrong end, and they will fight you and accuse you, also the majority sometimes loose trust in the wise men, and stop listening to them or following them.

one of the problems is how to define the truth, some funny definition is that, it is the information you find acceptable, back it is related to your acceptance!!

I am not out of the cave yet, i just wanted to represent how sad I am, but i must tell you that in the meanwhile, and on another issue, i spotted many positive moves, real positive moves and i was pleased to see that after the wave of hate, another wave of wisdome is starting, slowly but at least it is starting

Friday, February 10, 2006

From the cave

Writing these few lines from the cave… I am now inside my cave and I really can’t identify my mood

I am happy and sad at the same time, I feel very bad and very sorry, sorry for myself and from myself

It is very easy to hate, it is very hard to love, fear from the things you don’t know is the rule, world seem so stupid when you look at it with your mind not your eyes.

My eyes can’t see anymore, things seem foggy, it is like these things aren’t really happening around, my heart have some mysterious pain, I can’t breath well, it seems my body wants to object and scream, seams like my soul is sick and all the other parts of me are sharing the pain with it

Tonight I was thinking very seriously to shut all my blogs forever, I was even writing the goodbye word for all of you, I was sure that my words are of no use to anyone but me, or say it is still of no use even for me.. Did I get happiness out of this? I wonder!!

Why do we hate different things or at least fear it? For how long will we carry this fear from new ideas or different concepts? Even if they seem to be true, even if we can’t have any logic against it!!

Why do we think that life is cheap and why do we hate death? Why do we think that the greatest danger is death? What is bad about it, I can’t say!!

Inside the cave I stay now, with hundreds of ideas and deep pain, am I the man they consider? Did I deserve what they did for me?

3 days ago I received a message from a friend, a very kind message that made me have more pain, did I deserve it? Honestly not, I am not the one you should stay with, I sometimes say things I don’t apply, I sometimes lie and sometimes hate

And I did something bad to someone; I can’t forget the look at that day, full with blame… my god!! Was I responsible of my heart or was it all just destiny!!

I sometimes do evil things even if others see them pure, they still have not clear reasons from the inside, I am not that pure man they should rely on or live with.

I am getting back to the cave… see you later

Saturday, February 04, 2006

From Moharam bek to Damascus

Today while watching TV I couldn’t prevent the deep depression that I felt, I understood the truth, it is the dark ages for Islam for sure!!

In the Middle Ages came the Dark Age for Christianity, when church controlled the community with the name of god and delayed humanity for a few centuries, now it is us playing this rule, even the same typical steps!!

Those who participated in this campaign against Denmark, are they happy now? Satisfied?
For one sin happened against them how many sins did they do in return?

1- they did hurt to many innocent people, a whole nation with the sin of a newspaper
2- They threatened them with many things including death!! Since when we are allowed in islam to terrorize innocent people!!
3- They destroyed and burned the embassy of two countries, where did the respect of messenger gone?? Did the prophet kill his enemy messenger? They were insulting islam day and night yet he never did any thing to the messenger that came from the enemy side (even if we assume that Danish nation is an enemy, which is not justified at all)

Three great sins in response two one sin, all directed in the wrong direction hurting innocent people for others crime!!

Let me raise some questions here, they deserve answers from those who participated in the campaign and they are proud of being part of the campaign

1- Do you think the Syrian gov was unable to protect the embassies? Why do you think they let them pass, reach two embassies and burn them!!!!
2- Do you think that the Egyptian gov is unaware that posters are hanged in the metro in cairo, since when was the gov letting similar thing?
3- Do you think that this is the first time for such an insult to happen to Prophet Mohammed? Nonsense and I was happy to find the proof at this place

It is a continuous war between terrorists from all the three sides, Jewish, Islamic and Christian, all the time trying to achieve as much insult as possible not caring for the sin they gain by that

4- Do you think we care that much for religion? Do we really apply orders of god and his prophet? How many times did you see a man in the street shouting and cursing against the religion and didn’t move?

Do you want to join evil? Join the crowds!!

Denmark and prophet Mohamed

During the past few months’ things kept moving, boycotting and spreading mails until it reached a bomb threaten 2 or three days ago in the Danish embassy in Syria or Jordon (I don’t remember)

Can we slow down a moment and review our attitude in this issue?

1- How do the Europeans see Islam and Muslims now, don’t you think they regard us as terrorists?


2- Don’t you see everyday in the TVs killing and bombing in Iraq, Afghanistan, Palestine, Egypt, turkey, Europe and almost everywhere?


3- Don’t you think that moves them to believe we are terrorists?


4- What if a thief says you asked him to do this; won’t other people think you are a thief too?


5- What if those terrorists said that prophet Mohamed told them to do so, won’t foreigners by nature think he is the head of those terrorists?


People, wake up, there is no conspiracy here, there is just pure human reactions on the current situation

You also can’t say they should have investigated more before they act like that, that is not what normal humans do, they are not judges out there, they are humans affected by what they see and what they hear, Muslims didn’t correct this bad idea about them and they must pay for that

But let me ask you another question, if a man hit you and his son work at your shop, will you fire his son and make him and his wife and kids starve? as a Muslim we have a sacred rule “wa la tazer wazeraton wezr okhra” which means “no one carry another one’s guilt”, don’t you think that by boycotting all Denmark you punish all the people of this country not the newspaper, without any guilt done?

And what did you expect from the Danish government?

To punish the newspaper or close it?
That happens only in third world countries, not there!!

Those people respect free speech and there is really no limit for free speech, they forbid hatred speech too yet the government can’t have the authority to do anything, if you see this cartoons humiliating for you, go to court and with a fair trial you take your rights

Wake up and know where to direct your blame, if they are to be blame then put 1% of the blame on the newspaper, 99% on Muslims all over the world who led us to this situation with stupid and frozen understanding for the religion and following without stopping for a second to consider what they follow or try to understand what it means

Wake up before it is too late, before we become as Jews became before

Wednesday, February 01, 2006


2 days ago I got my evaluation on the past 6 months, it wasn't so normal day because most of the others got their evaluations and I was delayed because my mentor wasn't free and had tons of things to do

ok, first of all, the evaluation was very nice and pleasant, it went well and didn't take more than 2 mins, I am not allowed to tell anything about it on public because it is confidential

the mark wasn't very high, according to the given explaination they couldn't give a very high mark because of the short time of our first evaluation, others are being evaluated on periods from 1 to 2 years and so they could get higher grades, they felt that is partially unfair but they can't judge us over 6 months and say that this person is super!!

another part was about some soft skills evaluation, how could they in this period estimate our communication skills or our cooperation with coworkers?

but finally the things that they couldn't evaluate us in was set with high grades to satisfy us, some of us were not satisfied by their evaluation but mine was more than fine for me, I even tend to under estimate myself somehow and that appeared clear in the evaluation discussion

one thing made me happy and sad at the same time, my mentor told me very good and nice words and he repeated that they still want me to complete with them somehow during my military service, or even after it, that made me happy to know that i did well and that those nice people really appreciate that, on the other side that made me feel sad because i will have to leave them!!

telling you a secret, I got a job while i am working here to start a new department in a meduim size software company, it was a very good opportunity with a very good payment and quicker promotions but I didn't agree, life in our company is different because you really feel like family their

the day they knew about the military thing many of my friends their came to comfort me, including my managers, I really appreciated that because they really helped me come over the dispair after knowing of the 3 years officer service thing

evaluation for me was like a mark on the road, i am happy the mark was positive and feel more eager to move on now