Friday, February 10, 2006

From the cave

Writing these few lines from the cave… I am now inside my cave and I really can’t identify my mood

I am happy and sad at the same time, I feel very bad and very sorry, sorry for myself and from myself

It is very easy to hate, it is very hard to love, fear from the things you don’t know is the rule, world seem so stupid when you look at it with your mind not your eyes.

My eyes can’t see anymore, things seem foggy, it is like these things aren’t really happening around, my heart have some mysterious pain, I can’t breath well, it seems my body wants to object and scream, seams like my soul is sick and all the other parts of me are sharing the pain with it

Tonight I was thinking very seriously to shut all my blogs forever, I was even writing the goodbye word for all of you, I was sure that my words are of no use to anyone but me, or say it is still of no use even for me.. Did I get happiness out of this? I wonder!!

Why do we hate different things or at least fear it? For how long will we carry this fear from new ideas or different concepts? Even if they seem to be true, even if we can’t have any logic against it!!

Why do we think that life is cheap and why do we hate death? Why do we think that the greatest danger is death? What is bad about it, I can’t say!!

Inside the cave I stay now, with hundreds of ideas and deep pain, am I the man they consider? Did I deserve what they did for me?

3 days ago I received a message from a friend, a very kind message that made me have more pain, did I deserve it? Honestly not, I am not the one you should stay with, I sometimes say things I don’t apply, I sometimes lie and sometimes hate

And I did something bad to someone; I can’t forget the look at that day, full with blame… my god!! Was I responsible of my heart or was it all just destiny!!

I sometimes do evil things even if others see them pure, they still have not clear reasons from the inside, I am not that pure man they should rely on or live with.

I am getting back to the cave… see you later

5 comments:

The Eyewitness said...

I believe you will come out of the cave different than what you were before entering the cave. I think that all this pain you are going through beacause our nature resists change, especially when the change is a step forward towards love and truth. Hope you a deep and fruitful experience in the cave. Waiting for you.

Eman M said...

You need to come out of your cave by talking about what is annoying you to a close friend, but staying in the cave is of no use

LEMNA said...

Actually I donn think there will be any need to get out of the cave!If it was me, I would have lived there, trying to see every sad scene as that is the truth, and in the meantime enjoying...Emm, somehow I think this is only the little cave, once you get out u will see urself in another one!...

free soul said...

eyewitness, you are right and the cave time is a very important time

Eman, the cave time is not a run away from the problems, it is a time slot away from interrupts from the outer world, time to consider your moves and your progress, time to consider your opinions and reconsider your life, it is time to watch life from the outside because the view from the inside sometimes decieve you

free soul said...

lemna, i completly agree with you, you understand me my friend

Yet getting out of the cave is not an option

i hope i can get all my friends to see the view from the cave, but you have to get out of the cave to show them what they can do from the inside