For those who have background in comm systems, more specific for those who studied signals, they will understand the title of this post
Two days ago, I received the result indication that I was of the VERY UNLUCKY persons who will become officers in the army, this means spending 3 years of my life there.
Ok, away from the bluffing, I got depressed for about 48 hours, now I am feeling better, a little better not much
But honestly, I knew it far before they say it; I expected it, dreamed of it and knew it is happening
Now, when I see it coming true, I feel sad, for many reasons, one of them is related to how I tried to arrange my life and that I identified two paths, one of them away from Egypt, the other is inside Egypt, my family thought that I am stupid to decide to stay in Egypt
Now I don’t have much choice, and the only decision I could make is to leave right after the army period, that is just the first problem.
The second problem is that I felt guilty when I saw some guys that accepted this sad fact but while being sad, they kept thinking how to be useful for the country while they are in the army!!, I didn’t think that way when I knew, actually, it was like the sun suddenly went out!
Another reason is that my father all the time says it is all because of me because I didn’t want to apply for immigration as he advised me, sorry father, I still disagree but I will have to do that later!
Finally, I will not be allowed to write anymore on the net during my military service, minimum for the first 9 months and mostly for all the period of 27 months, this is bad but this is what I am supposed to do
Ok, everyone is keeping telling me that I should see the bright side, honestly I see a few but they are still of no measure compared to the loss of 3 years of my life, if you see something valuable enough to equal 3 days even of a persons life tell me
I know I look very depressed, which is not the case; I kind of passed this stage and already taking things as is and doing what I can to make things a little better
Yet those events made me think of things, many things I have dropped and many persons I have known in the past
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2 comments:
Dear Free Soul,
This is how the life is:(
I have faced such things too and I really feel what u say, but the thing is at least in this situation u will feel good as u didnn do anything wrong and that is not ur fault...there are sometimes terrible cases that one might think maybe s/he has done sth wrong and this is like eating him/herself moment by moment inside...
Yes my friend, I know i didn't do anything wrong, i don't feel guilty, i feel shocked, may be also feel lost but I don't have guilt, I can say my previous year even was of my best and I really liked it, I believe I did my best in this year to be good to others
feeling problems like punshiment from god is a terrible feeling but it is not my feeling now
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