Friday, September 29, 2006

23


Today is my birthday

How different it is from the last one I had, and how different I become during this year!!

I dare to say I got to know myself more during this year, more than anytime else... may be because I had the most beautiful times and most hard times all my life during this year, may be because I am growing up, becoming more and more independent of my fancy life and my fancy thoughts I had during my past life

This time the birthday seems different, smells different and tastes different

Gloomy a little, knowing the fact that I have to spend another 2 birthdays in the service , tasting different knowing that I will spend it in the desert, in the complete darkness with the people but totally alone

Even different because it is my first in Ramadan, different because I will spend it away from home, away from the whole city

Different because I can’t think of the past or the future, they all seem like a bottleneck now for me, all I think is how to cross this bottleneck and return to the open air again to breath… breath freely

8 comments:

The Eyewitness said...

First of all Happy Birthday. Second, I know that this will sound insane "Try to live teh moment", don't trap yourself in the prisonof waiting, these were the worst moments for me in the army. Try to hear the sound of humanity, sound of god in all the moments your living may be this will make it easier and not just easier but more benificial for. But even if you couldn't live that way don't worry it's gonna end faster than you could ever imagine.

Zeinobia said...

happy birthday and 3obal million sana
second , don't be sad that you are celebrating it in the desert coz this is an experience itself in your life , plus it is a change :)

Anonymous said...

Happy bday, just keep wishing that your coming years won't be as bad as one already passed. Listen man, can define home for me? what does it mean to you? I've been celebrating my bday and ramadan and everything away from "the place i've been born" since 6 years, but guess what? Home is where I am, and where I am will be my home.

Cheers

free soul said...

eyewitness, yes, days go pretty quick and yes things pass,

yet i know i can't describe to you how hard it is out there, but we will live, don't worry :)

when i am there, i just live the moment and as you said i don't complicate things, but when i return home, i have to think of my life and this makes me depressed as it seems to go without a goal , just like that and i hate to move in the dark, i hate to be moving without a plan, that is my big problem now

free soul said...

zainobia,

hey, thanks :)
experience is a word for both good and bad stuff !!

not every experience is a good one, plus, the day wasn't that good, full of tension and problems, it seems that stupidity is a disease moving in air these days !!

خجل said...

Happy Birthday

free soul said...

thanks dear :)

LEMNA said...

Not so far from my bd, funny:))