To get over something

To get over something you need many things, if you miss any of them, then this thing/event will remain inside you for so long, will leave a scar that can't be removed not even by time

firstly, you need to understand what happened, if there is something pending, something unresolved, it will keep like a trigger, and endless pain, a reminder that can't be shutdown that keeps your mind busy with questions like, why and how !!?

secondly, you need acceptance, to understand that things that ended would have ended whatever you would have done, it was destined to end and you can't reverse the universe time... you must accept that life won't always go the way you want it to go, that ppl may be different than what you thought them to be and that you still have things to learn about life... if you don't have acceptance you live in denial, and living in denial is not living at all.

finally you need a decision to continue living, to avoid fear and really move on with your life, to know that failure is just another fact of life, a step before success, a state that should never be endless unless we loose the hope and the well to change it... to know that we will always have more chances and that life would never stop sending us more changes and blessings...

I know the rules, I know all of them, yet I still find it extremely hard to apply them on some case I met, the reason is because of the first rule that I still can't apply... some issues stayed unresolved, some questions stayed inside me open and couldn't find a chance to ask them and get back answers from life, i am trying to avoid the questions, trying to convince myself that whatever the answer will be it won't change the fact that it is over, yet it is still so hard to get over this while i have these buggy questions in my mind like burning ashes in my brain!!

5th of June

5th of June... start of 1967 War... a day to remember, not a day to ignore

Acceptance

Some things in life can't be fought against... some things are there, and just there, there is nothing you can do about them, you only have to accept them and cure your wounds, learn how to live and go on just for a vague hope that things may be different some other time, that god will once give you his mercy and bless you some time in your life...

many times i get on the verge of surrendering to life, surrendering to the flow of humans and be just another one in the river, yet something in me keeps me away, something that is getting weaker and weaker everyday but still there

something that tells me that may be someday things change, tomorrow, next year or in the next life

something that tells me that if i surrender, then i am already dead

Mood

Feeling more lonely than I ever had in my life... with all the friends and half friends I have, can't find a single person that I would feel comfortable to tell what I have or what I feel

Decisions

Taking one of the most hard decision in my life... the kind of decisions that whenever you take, you never look back, knowing nothing about the future, living just with dreams and fragments of thoughts and emotions...

completely like stepping on the clouds... were you don't see your feet nor can feel the ground, but moved with a strange motivation, is it destiny? I don't know but all i know is that I have to do this step, I want to do this step, right now, that way, as crazy as it might look, as unexpected as it might feel, just do it.

Just words

- sometimes you do have to do the mistake to learn, but doing the same mistake
twice has nothing to do with learning, it only has something to do with either stupidity or denial.

- in every person you will find something that you love, but you only stick to the persons that don't have any of the things you can't stand

- marriage may be the best and holiest human bonds.
unfortunately this only applies for true marriage, which doesn't almost exist

- if your love partner is not really paying attention to your inner stuff then he most probably only loves his own reflection in your eyes.

The cave man

Once upon a time there was a cave man, the man that lived so safe and
secure in his cave, away from the wildness outside, but there always was something missing...

One day he decided to go out, search for it, fill in the missing parts of his soul, all he wanted was a live and a real love... he didn't search for glory, didn't search for profit or success or career, all he ever wanted was a calm life with passion and emotions around

Now the cave man is back to his cave, not just failing to find any, but loosing alot of what he already had, loosing a lot of mind & soul peace, loosing a lot of his innocence

In his cave he returned, shutting all the doors and trying to put the parts left of his soul all together