23

Today is my birthday

How different it is from the last one I had, and how different I become during this year!!

I dare to say I got to know myself more during this year, more than anytime else... may be because I had the most beautiful times and most hard times all my life during this year, may be because I am growing up, becoming more and more independent of my fancy life and my fancy thoughts I had during my past life

This time the birthday seems different, smells different and tastes different

Gloomy a little, knowing the fact that I have to spend another 2 birthdays in the service , tasting different knowing that I will spend it in the desert, in the complete darkness with the people but totally alone

Even different because it is my first in Ramadan, different because I will spend it away from home, away from the whole city

Different because I can’t think of the past or the future, they all seem like a bottleneck now for me, all I think is how to cross this bottleneck and return to the open air again to breath… breath freely

The running shadow

In an open area like the desert, when a small cloud covers the face of the sun it leaves a matching area of shadow on earth

Because the whole area is open you can see the shadowed area, as the cloud moves, the shadow runs towards/from you in a sight that you don’t see often

It was a lovely experience to see the shadow moving fast on the hills and the sand around in the open desert, another view I won’t forget easily

Don't Turn around

Sometimes we have to make a check point, where we review our relationships.

Some relations aren’t supposed to go on, they last few days, months or even few years but finally, it isn’t meant to last, it is not well based and so it can’t survive.

It needs lot of courage to understand that, more courage to achieve the break and much more courage to maintain this decision.

It is hard to break a relationship, you always have fears; the fear that you might be wrong, the fear of loneliness, the fear of the other side reaction and the mysterious fear of the unknown future.

Yet it has to be done!!

We must at some point say enough and turn around, never look back again.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Don’t turn around now, you may see me cry” from “just walk away” song for celine dion.

Which one?

While i was playing in my files, i found this photo, the date is wrong on it, it is about 15 years ago, so can you guess which one is me ? :D

The "real" change

As long as we are alive, it is never too late to make any "real" thing.

Nothing can stop you, not even time, because real things doesn't rely on non-real things and time is not a real thing, it is just the way we describe things change in the materialistic life

Real things is the things inside, materialistic changes are just the way real changes show up in life

Real things can't be touched or seen, love is a fact yet you can't touch it, materialistic things are not real because they depend on the way you look at it that varies from person to another

So hard to say goodbye

A friend of mine asked me about the meaning of the display name I have on google "how do I .. say goodbye"

here is the complete lyrics of the song, I got it from the internet

How do I say goodbye to what we had?
The good times that made us laugh
Outweigh the bad.

I thought wed get to see forever
But forevers gone away
Its so hard to say goodbye to yesterday.

I dont know where this road
Is going to lead
All I know is where weve been
And what weve been through.

If we get to see tomorrow
I hope its worth all the wait
Its so hard to say goodbye to yesterday.

And Ill take with me the memories
To be my sunshine after the rain
Its so hard to say goodbye to yesterday.

And Ill take with me the memories
To be my sunshine after the rain
Its so hard to say goodbye to yesterday.

Marvelous

I won’t forget this view easily… this morning was so special; a lot of clouds filled the sky like a mercy of god to prevent the cruel sun beams from hitting on the humans

Thin holes were formed in the huge clouds wall, made of few adjacent holes, from each hole a cylindrical light beam could be seen falling from heaven to earth..

I could count about 12 or 15 light beams like this, in a view behind imagination, this view lasted over 3 hours, if only I had a camera!!!

Marvelous!!!!!!

Make it up

In life, everything leaves scars

In love, you can never make it up, you can never mend what you broke, the scar never vanishes and the wounds always bleed

Be extremely wise when you have the chance.. you will never have the chance to fix it again.

Friendship

It is strange how things start… strange how very small things and incident could make a huge change.

This is the story of my best friend in the army…

At the beginning he was just another man, all I knew about him was the name.
On one of the terrible tiring days, full with sun, actions, and training he fell so ill that he was almost totally unable to walk to drink water or get himself anything

At that time I hardly knew him... I told him I will see what I could do, I ran to my room and got him a bottle of water, and I asked a friend to get us two small bottles of juice. That was all.

The next day when he came to thank me, we had long conversation, we started it at that day but it didn’t end yet… we talk all the time during training, during breaks, during vacations, our friends’ say we never shut up :)

Ramy has been my friend since then, we helped each other to hold in many hard situations and I am glad I have such friends with me, that is the best thing I could get out of the current experience